start afresh, know God as the God He is. not the God whom we think He is...

Lesbiasm.
Saturday, August 30, 2008//

This Taboo Topic of HomoSexualism has always been a "Banned" Topic for discussion especially in Church.

But among my peers etc, this has always been a common topic to talk, discuss & ponder upon..
How ironic & amazing is this human behaviour...where different people react differently...

I have quite a handful of frds around me who are lesbian. Not so many of gays..
Hence, Being a sportsman since young, I am always surrounded by ppl who are homosexual, who tend to have an inclination towards homosexuality and who along their "straight" path, backsided again....

I have friends who nearly got engaged...broke up with her 7yrs boyfriend to be together with a girl.
I have friends who have never been attached with a guy before & with multiple of girlfriends...

Personally, I felt that Girls tend to have a inclination towards sexuality...bcos of their inner desire to be loved...to be cared for...to have a soul mate, who can truly understand, be gentle, be sincere, be supportive etc...
Of cos This is the distinctive difference between a girl & a guy.
Guy can never and never be as sensitive & caring & emotionally supportive as girls.
Which this could be a very much attribute to where girls are starting to feel that Girls could be a better partner compared to a guy.

And sometimes i wonder...can there be a distinctive differentiation between "Having a female soulmate" VS "Having a female partner"?
Could these ppl be deceived that....because you like this friend so much..depend on this person so much...and this friend has been so much a part of her life...that..somehow....they mistook it as "I love her?"

And so...who is the different between Infatuation? Love? Like? Crush? Flinge?

My mind and My heart is always provoke by such

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
5:41 AM

Wednesday, August 27, 2008//

When "I miss him" seems so far, "I miss her" came along.

When "I miss her" was faded into the back scene, "I miss him" came side by side again to conquer & consume my heart.

And so This little girl asked as she looked up into the sky, "When do i have to miss? And be sucked into this routine vicious cycle? Can i leave everything behind & just find freedom being who I truly am..who I truly want to be...no need to account anymore. No need to struggle between the flesh & the spirit?"

And so the rainbow came...and she knew exactly what the message is for her...

"I still chose to love you."

-ouch-

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
10:05 AM

Tuesday, August 26, 2008//

Wat a interesting 2 weeks I had.
A different way of presentation.

Purely building rapport & understanding what the clients are looking for..
No longer presenting SO MUCH and SO IN DETAILS...

And So, I met 2 interesting clients in this 2 weeks.
A "red bull-ed" Boss & a Developer-fied Boss.
Interestingly, for this 2 clients, Sapphire has a strong impulse to buy some mooncakes to appreciate them for making time to meet up with me.

They are nice guys, whom i seriously do hope to make a difference in their live.

And so I am now sitting at Cineleisure 24hr HK cafe. Couldnt make it for "Money No Enuff" movie, cos of my appt..so decided to join my church frds for dinner/supper instead.

My BIG appointment was postponed to Next tues & I wasnt very pissed. Instead, I felt the peace, that it may be better to do it next week, then this week...

And the MOST disasterous thing that has added on to my depressed mood, is my lappie.
I think the OS is spoilt.
Which also means that I need to do back up soon, I need to reformat my tooopiiidd MACBOOK (Running on a Windows OS) & then...maybe buy a new Lappie for my work.
So that this white elephant can be placed at home.
YES, it is an elephant...so heavy.... :(

I miss my personal life. And i am so so so determined to find it back this week or else, next week!

ENOUGH of work mans...i have been working non-stop for like coming to 21days?
with ONLY 1 sunday really breaking from the big W!
Haha....Recruitment Fair, Invest Fair, Recruitment Talk, Seminar Talk, Normal appointments, Incentive Trip, Church etc...

And in the midst of my busyness, i managed to meet up with little Crystal for breakfast, little dessert tea breaks with my colleagues & little night session with my consultants who are also my frds...

In the midst of the dark night, I find comfort in those who still cares abt me..

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
6:03 AM

Addicted to Gold Class Movie now.
Monday, August 25, 2008//

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
5:37 PM

And so I have been occupied with thoughts lately. Occupied with no specific questions or specific answers.
Roaming around with my routine activities at work & yet with a mind disturbed & zombie-fied.

And so I was attacked by the devil with a thousand permutations of provoking challenges.

And though this faint heart still remains true to her feelings that Jesus is God. And He is a good God who cares & who loves.

Definitely divide the correlation of God VS Man.
Understanding that God is God.
God doesnt fail, but Man fails.

I was reading Psalms 8 yday.
And so there is this one verse that says, "what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?"

So who are you that God has been thinking of day & night..who are you that God is mindful of....that He cares abt you...

God loves you so much tat even in Psalm 8, it was clearly stated that:

"You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor. You made him ruler over the works of your hands; you put everything under his feet"

Only a little lower...Besides the angels etc in the heaven, we are ranked 2nd. This is how great we are...that God has allowed.

And so, have you ever watched the stars on the sky late at night?
And so, have you looked at the creatures of different skin, different attitudes, different sizes with the same awesomeness as how you have viewed the great ocean road & the great canyon?

"When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place...."

O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

How true it is....
Do not draw me close to you & harden my heart against Man.

And so I had a repeat of a few nice songs yday night after I met & scolded my 2 consultants at my house.

And this was one of the song and this phrase, "The day he left home, I knew I had broken His Heart..."

How rude & daring we are to offend, to disappoint, to go against this God.
This loving Father He is, always tolerate our nonsensical stuff.

Ridiculous.

I wish, God can tell me directly, what to do and what not to do, rather than Man.
For the world today in Christianity, seems to be painted by Man rather than followed accordingly to God.

For I am so afraid, tat one day, Sapphire will come out with a shocking decision.
To leave everything behind.

Once upon a time, I heard this little girl having Joy...and having a very simpled minded way of life. And as she learnt more, through experiences, through mistakes, through observations, she realised that things are not as simple it is.
How true, when the girl thought back, that ignorance is bliss & as you know more, you know less.

And this girl find it so hard...and cant control herself to think of this big word "JAGGED" in her life.
And she wonder, why is man so scary & so unconstant.
And realise that is because all her expectations should be placed unto the Lord.
And not on the Man around.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
5:09 PM

And so Guard ur heart, before you fall for it again.

Those that i wish had cared, did not.
And those who i least expected, cared.

And it hurts to know that you actually care.

-teared-

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
5:43 AM

Sunday, August 24, 2008//

Surrender

Everything that was is in Your hands
and all that is to come.
I give to You. Take control.

This life belongs to You.
Forgive me Lord for walking my own road.

Take control. Jesus take control.
Your Kingdom come.
Your will be done.
Now and forever and I surrender Oh I surrender Oh I surrender to You, to You.

That I may hear Your voice, that I may know You heart, that I would see Your world
through eyes of hope.

This my prayer oh God, this my prayer that I may pray
And I surrender to You.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
9:43 AM

And so I cried.
//

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
9:17 AM

I AM who you read.
//

Hurt. I am. Very.

Tired. I am . Very.

Headache. I am. Very.

Letting go. I am. Very.

Lonely. I am. Very.

Nonchalant. I am. Very.

Broken. I am. VERY.

Swollen-Eyed. I am. Very.

Humbled. I am. Very.

Defeated. I am. Very.

Surrendered. I am. Very.

Failure. I am. Very.

Criticized. I am. Very.

JAGGED. I AM. VERY.

SUFFOCATED. I AM. VERY.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
8:58 AM

USA volleyball WON!! :)
//

#13 - Clay Stanley

Position: Opposite

Height: 6-9 (205cm)

Weight: 230 lbs (104kg)

Hometown: Honolulu, Hawaii

College: Hawai’i

Birth Date: January 1978

Joined Team: November 2000

He is my Idol now.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
3:57 AM

Good project: Austin: Walton International Group
//

Contact me: 97545658 to find out more :)

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
3:40 AM

Saturday, August 23, 2008//

This was our August Incentive Trip that I was once again by God's Grace given to go.
My boss booked a "corporate box" to watch the race of the beauuutiiifoooo horses!

I bet from race 3-11, for the "kick" of it.
Didnt see it as gambling, cos its just a sport to see if my instinct & my gut feeling was accurate.

And in fact, I realised something from this little betting.

"I like to always bet against the odds. Just dont like to follow the norm. BUT, bcos I didnt want to lose, I had to conform to the norm predictions of the red horse etc..."

In fact, I lose $13. Not a big sum of money la.

Maybe, this again highlights this individuality & this pridefulness in me, to want to be different.

Just dont like to believe statement like "OH, must be this la. Why go against others?", "Aiya, no need to think la, just follow the experts!", "sure, wont win, see the odds etc"

HAHA, of cos the experts are ACCURATELY every round was right!

But once again........HMMMM...oh, i know...why already..

COS, Sapphire dont like to lose. That's why I am more stubborn, persistent & prideful.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
7:06 PM

Tuesday, August 19, 2008//

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.” 1 Corinthians 9:24-27

When Romania’s Tomescu-Dita crossed the finish line in the Beijing Olympics, she not only won the gold medal in the Women’s Marathon, but, at 38, she became the oldest Olympian ever to do it, leaving 83 competitors in the dust.

Tomescu-Dita

Tomescu-Dita led unchallenged for more than an hour, running alone for more than half of the race — a remarkable achievement given the quality of the Beijing field. I watched her running along the grueling course that snaked through the streets of Beijing from Tiananmen Square to the Bird’s Nest stadium.

I watched her become energized when the stadium came into sight and then as she circled outside before entering the stadium, I was impressed with something the announcer said, declaring that entering the stadium of victory is “something that every marathoner looks forward to.”

Tomescu-Dita looked strong as she entered the National Stadium to a rousing ovation from the crowd of 60,000. The cheers reached a crescendo as she emerged from the tunnel entrance.

I thought of a spiritual and Biblical parallel. Paul speaks 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 of the ancient games where people run to win a wreath that will not last, but that the Christian runs to win a crown that will last forever, life above with Jesus. Just as the marathoner looks to the stadium and finish line of victory, we as Christians look to the goal of victory through eternal unity with God in His heavenly kingdom and the heavenly crowd will cheer.

Life is a race and the finish line is in the arena of victory is heaven. Luke expresses it in Acts 20:24 “However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me — the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.”

Paul expresses it in Philippians 3:13-14, “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Now that’s what I really call running for the gold. (a thought on life from John Grant )

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
9:48 AM

Sunday, August 17, 2008//

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
7:14 AM

Friday, August 15, 2008//

There are days, there are moments when we feel unsure.
I wish we could believe in our Father's grace.
All we need is a little faith, believe what He can do..
we need you Lord - there are days...

This is the day, this is the moment.
So forget about your past & move ahead.
For the Lord is with us He'll never leave us.
He's our tower of refuge & strength.

There are days, there are moment when i feel so sad.
I wish i could take back all our yesterdays.
Spend more time to tell you how much you mean to me.
I need you - there are days.

There are days, there are moments when I'm so confused

I wish you'd hear the things that i have to say
All the change I'm going through, why cant you understand.
I need you - there are days.

This is the day, this is the moment.
So forget about your past & look ahead.
Set your eyes on Him, He'll see you through.
In His time He'll make all things beautiful.

There are days, there are moments when I'm so alone.
I wish You could be here to show the way
All the times, I've turned from You & gone so far astray.
I need you Lord - there are days.

This is the day, this is the moment.
He'll be there to see you through your darkest hour.
Set your eyes on Him and see His love shine through.
Believe the Father has the best in store for you.

This is the day
This is the moment
I can hear His mighty voice whisper to me.
Just believe my child & you'll see
I will raise you up to claim the victory.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
6:55 AM

Thursday, August 14, 2008//

Lord, I cant move on.
I cant move on bcos of my past.

There are so many times, I wish I can let go & move on with my life. Though with tears.
But, Lord, i cant. I seriously cant.

It hurts me. It pains me. It irritates me.

I wish, I can just take a break & be left alone at some island.
To leave all behind.
To get back to the past & then restart my life again.

Lord, I am so tired. So tired of trying to pick myself up again & again.

And Lord, I am feeling so insecure now.
Feeling so lousy about everything.

I feel so routinised doing everything.

I need a decent break. I need to go and do the things that I want to do NOW.
I need to learn to let go & let God.

And Lord, when can I have a break through??

Sigh....

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
8:28 AM

Sentosa 10th August 2008 - Walton International
Sunday, August 10, 2008//

Walton's family gathering organised by Bill Doherty! :)
I love Walton, cos they emphasized a lot on family bonding - natural family, working family & consultants & clients!

There are lots of nice food! Fireworks, drinks, games, water spraying, colleagues catching up & getting to know one anothers' family.

the 5 of us went to play LUGE! It's so so fun! My first virgin try :)

Night LUGE was even more exciting...woohoowhoooo!!

safetly?!!?! HACK CARE LA!
when you are down there, by instinct, you will know what to do :)

oh ya...btw, we waited fo 40mins for that 5mins of LUGE ride.... :(
Good things dont come easy. Easy things that come, wont be good!

Ms. Adeline See, who always love to "Zhi Pai" - Self posing. Bleah! :)

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
8:55 AM

more MORE photos!
Thursday, August 07, 2008//

Miss. Yap loves the scenic & ambience where she could have the peace & serenity of the nature....to leave the world behind!

Doctor kevin...haha....whom everyone says he is is 'Doctor Quek!" HAHA.
LIposuction anybody? I can intro you to him! :)

YSL team ppl :) with the famous NANTA today's bridegroom!

2 pretty chicks on the pavement! buy 1 get 1 free?? HAHA.
You WLL.

For once...i really think she is acting too cute. HAHA.

Black Cap: Adeline
Sunglass: Brenda
White cap: Ernest Wife
Left over: WENJING!!!
4 of them are damn fun ppl to hang out :)

The man with sunglass is Mr. Gerard Foo, MD of Walton Spore!

Miss. Yap acting cute....haha...esp when she is totally disgusted with the inedible food & super noisy drums.
But oh well! she enjoy the performance though :)

Amen Sister sitting in the praying room to experience the spiritual realm!

Amen sister at the door of this praying room among the woods :)

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
10:15 AM

Others colleagues photos! :)
//

Felicia the always HIGH & madly in love with photographer "June" babe!

My roomie & my little sweetie darling! :)

Queenie the super seh & attitude babe.

I love marcelly! this was taken the next day after she had a dozen of drinks & literally having hang over at the breakfast table...haha...isnt she cute??? :)

My damn funny Tour guide: Annie!
She is seriously So confident, so cocky, so funny, yet so nice!
OH...sapphire is missing her lotsss!!

The lucky Boonk was selected to perform on stage! best thing is...if you search the NANTA website, this photo is uploaded!!!! UNFAIR!! :(

Boss AHK, Josephine, Andy & Jason! Going down to our next destination in the amusement park!

3 funny chicks! Lee Hin, Felicia & Queenie! :)
After a mass NAKED & swim-suit session!
Alrights, none of these girls went naked. BUT i did went for the naked pool, it was fun fun fun!!