find back the "key" to your heart.
Friday, November 30, 2007//

something is missing......

in order to open the door, we need to 1st unlock the Door.
and we need the "key".
only when the key lives up to its purpose and use, then it will display its ultimate potential.

to me, the door is the heart of my being. the reason why i am who i am. and that there is nobody else who can ever be me.
the lock is the defense system that i put up within myself. to protect myself and to prevent others from coming into my world to know me. it's a very impt protection to my heart, to make me strong. i refuse to be made vulnerable, only to realise HURT will prob be the next thing that i will experience. so i stop trusting, i stop letting others who care abt me to enter inside my Sapphire's world.

but God is the "Key". to our H e a r t.
to give us freedom to be who we truly are. not being afraid that the world will not love us, accept us or approve of us. instead of running away....

the beauty is when you know you will get hurt and rejected by loving, and still chose to love.
you know that by trusting will only make you very vulnerable and weak, and yet you chose to include others to walk together with you in this chapter of your life.

the only way to grow, is to break you up and then piece you together.
if it's meant to be beautiful. let God complete this beautiful work.

running to the world of nobody could be comforting and safe.
but it could also mean loneliness. cos you have wasted this journey. cos everyone seems and claims to know you BUT
do they reali know you?

who are you reali?

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
9:20 AM

introducing to you the lovely peeps i have spend my last 3 days :)
Thursday, November 29, 2007//

desmond pang: the teacher in charge of PLMGS.
miss. Gan Layleng (my spiritual granny) should be coming, but too bad! she's outstation in Israel with the church 144!
desmond has been very supportive and helpful during this 3days. luckily got him, else, it'll be too diff for me to run the show alone :)
no wonder, my spiritual granny is ALWAYS singing praises abt him...bwahaha.

the TKSS and PLMGS team on the campfire night :)
finally, they have let loose and be bimbos and himbos :)
haha. great team with very strong leadership for both schs.
rar-rar and yet not rowdy.

3rd row: PLMGS
2nd row: TKSS
1st row: the ONLY 2 guys in TKSS + the mentors.
i thanked God for partnering PLMGS with TKSS. cos TKSS demonstrated very good qualities, teamwork & "feng du".
appreciate their efforts continously to energise my girls & include them in! :)

bobby the MAN! from trekkers for a donkey years.
trekkers was the camp i attended like 7-8yrs back in ZHSS.
bobby is gog to join as a PE teacher in sec sch soon :)
thanked God! this definitely gives him a greater platform to touch even more lives!
btw, he's still single. any takers?!?!?!? :) HAHAHA.

DOROTHY: great leader. small in physique but BIG in ability. her proactiveness reali made me in AWE :) her ability to accomodate and to understand others inspite of differences is encouraging!

JOANNE: reali funny gal who never fails to make me luff with her toot-toot face. great individual with lots of empathy and feeling for others. your willingness to listen is your beauty :)

ELEANOR (LEFT): the girl-next-door with her shy smile always! Sporty enuff to take a BIG step out of her comfort zones in many situations. good job babe :)

SUANN (RIGHT): very intelligent girl, very funny, very corny, very "auntie" sometimes. what amazed was her timing. her timing to listen. her timing to contribute. her timing to voice out.
most of the time, her role was appropriate. not too pushy, yet able to deliver her message.

WEIKEE: unique individual. strong character. charismatic personality. great leader whom her peers look up to. Even mentors took notice of her.
someone whom God has placed in my heart.
To others, she seemed to be Mount Everest. strong & impossible to move.
but to me, she is definitely strong on the outside, but weak in her inside. her true self only to be found in her own weikee world.
someone who find it essential to be strong, only to realise, it could be tiring. Only if someone were to recognise that she is only but a human. like everyone. She doesnt have special power to make a major difference.
but glad, i get to know her much more this short camp :)

JANCIE (LEFT): a very very supportive and accomodating member, who always spare a tot for the others. A L W A Y S. she is prob 1 of the few who will look out for the rest to make sure every1 is safe and sound :)

TESSA (RIGHT): e very mature individual. deep in tots. fast to feel. but never showing to the others. very understanding and very responsible esp during the times, when she deliberately put in effort to stop herself from influencing others with her own emotions turmoil that she is experiencing.
she is always ready to rise up when nobody are too laid back.
else, being a follower is fine too. Cos' she prob wouldnt want the special limelight to fall upon her.

these are my angels :)
unique in their own ways.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
10:29 PM

NYC camp.
//

i was away from camp tues to thurs.
to be frank, before this camp, volunteering was prob the last thing in my mind.

i was approached by pastor Yo & Ms.Gan to mentor PLMGS.
being very new in my current job & promoted to manager, getting involved with too many things could be detrimental.

i was afraid. to sacrifice my time. cos it means putting my career, my personal life, my monetary rewards etc....behind.
i was afraid. bcos of committment. i do not want to fail and disappoint others. i am afraid to promise, only to realise, i have broken it.
i was afraid. the risk of having greater understanding about myself.

but out of obedience, i volunteered.
and i told myself, i will turn over a new leaf. i want a deliberate change. to live a life for You Alone Lord.

so, i volunteered gladly. though Jiali and Huiwen are getting pretty busy with exams.

though, i was frustrated. cos i am a perfectionist. i expect. i desire. i strive.
the greater the power means the greater the responsibility.
another BIG word on my shoulder....
sapphire aint no hero.
i'm not a superwoman. i'm jus a ordinary YY.

so yes, i went for camp.
and to be frank, i felt the greatest take over for me was the change of heart.
God has soften my heart alot.
filled me with greater empathy and compassion for the beautiful lives and youths He has created.
He has opened my eyes, hearts and ears to be sensitive to the need to Love and inspire them.

i was glad, cos my girls went through this journey together with me.
culture shock from a methodist girls' sch to a RAR RAR neighbourhood sch.
from Godly Hymes to techno songs.
from being LaidBack to the need to be more proactive.
many many great and encouraging changes were demonstrated.

from boring workshops and cheers, to great teamwork in project works and presentation.
taking the initiative to teach and lead cheers.
being more and more open with one another in sharing.

a 3D2N camp doesnt change a team or person overnight.
it's a journey.
and i believe, God has a reason for me to be a mentor in PLMGS.
waiting for Him to reveal.

YES. in this camp, i saw 2 person who resembles me alot.
my issue of significance was surfaced again.
i felt belittled.
i felt lousy.
i felt i want to go back to who i am in the past.
i felt again that i am a nobody.

yes, though i am a mentor, but emotions are real, and i do not want to escape or push them aside. but i do not surface act. i submit it to the Lord and cling tightly to Your word Lord.
i can only influence others, when my heart has been made R I G H T.

ranked 4th in NYJC among my cohort. 1st among the girls.
selected in athletics, wushi, band in AiTong.
Full time bballer, Part time student in ZhongHua.
slacker community service club in NYJC.
hockey,netball,softball,rugby,soccer,bball in NUS Temasek Hall IHG.
wakeboard,roller blade,rockclimb,ice skate, fishing during free time.
the time of striking. my past of striking.
was painfully etched in my mind.
it's weird to recall such vivid moments.

the more you shine, and the more you are afraid to become dimmer than another.
the 2 person fearfully reminded me to my past.

but i know the Lord is Good.
i am given up in the promises of this world.
cos i do not want to be hurt again. to be disappointed again.

the camp has changed me. the way i think and feel.
indeed, God did not shortchange me.
i wan to make my girls successful in their personal unique being. to be living out of their potential and beautiful creation of their own gifts and talents.

i thank God! cos i might be working part time or even volunteering in Trekkers.

Bobby has touched my heart :)
inspiring. life transforming.
the spirit of stewardship.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
5:08 AM

Born Again. Miraculously Altered. BAMA.
Sunday, November 25, 2007//

We all like the idea of changing, of becoming something different than what we presently are.

Starting over again . . . .

Reinventing ourselves . . . .

Experiencing a new beginning . . .

Certainly, our culture is obsessed with change and self-improvement.

Cosmetic surgery has become very popular lately. People go to cosmetic surgeons wanting to look like their favorite movie stars, or perhaps a younger version of themselves. Sadly, they sometimes come out looking like an altogether different person!

I heard about a woman named Shirley who was from Beverly Hills. One day, she had a heart attack and was taken to Cedars-Sinai Hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near-death experience. She saw God and asked, "Is this it? Is my life over?"

God said, "No, don't worry. You have another 40 years to live."

Shirley figured that since she had another 40 years, she might as well make the most of it. Upon her recovery, she decided to stay in the hospital and have collagen shots, cheek implants, a facelift and liposuction—the works! She then had someone dye her hair.

When she walked out of the lobby at Cedars-Sinai, however, an ambulance speeding up to the hospital killed her. She arrived in front of God and said, "I thought you said I had another 40 years?"

God replied, "Shirley! I'm so sorry, but I didn't RECOGNIZE YOU!"

Why this desire for change?

Anthony Elliot, professor of sociology at the University of Kent wrote:

The demand for instant identity transformations has never been so persuasive. People today want change and they want it instantly—from fame to the instant thrills of Botox or liposuction. In a world of short term contracts, endless downsizings, just-in-time deliveries, and multiple careers, the capacity to reinvent yourself has become fundamental.

Nowadays, if people have a drug or alcohol problem, they just go to rehab. They emerge a month later "cured" (along with a fashion accessory ankle bracelet), but they fall back into the same problems again and again.

The problem is that all of these changes don't get to the real issue: the issue of the heart. Because the heart of the matter is the matter of the heart.

The Bible tells the story of an elderly man named Nicodemus who came to Jesus one night, looking for answers and wanting change in his life.

After dark one evening, a Jewish religious leader named Nicodemus, a Pharisee, came to speak with Jesus. "Teacher," he said, "we all know that God has sent you to teach us. Your miraculous signs are proof enough that God is with you."

Jesus replied, "I assure you, unless you are born again you can never see the kingdom of God."

"What do you mean?" exclaimed Nicodemus. "How can an old man go back into his mother's womb and be born again?" (John 3:1-4 NLT)

In nervous anticipation of this meeting, Nicodemus may have recited the lines over and over again. After all, he was famous and known to be a deeply religious man. Yet there was something missing in his life, so for him to call Jesus "Teacher" was quite an acknowledgement.

Maybe that's how you feel. You respect Christian people in general. They are honest, considerate, friendly, perhaps a bit weird, but pretty good people.

And you've certainly always respected Jesus Christ. After all, He was a great moral teacher, perhaps the greatest of all.

That's how Nicodemus felt. He also had great respect for Jesus and His teachings.

And he was probably hoping that Jesus would say something that would bring improvement to his life.

But what Jesus said was radical, even revolutionary. Jesus immediately said to him, "You must be born again!"

But why did Jesus say that?

Jesus said that because He's not looking for admiration or even deep respect. He is looking for followers. He doesn't say, "Admire me," but rather "Follow me!"

C.S. Lewis, the author of the famous "Chronicles of Narnia" and a Christian philosopher said:

A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a "great moral teacher." He would either be a lunatic—on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg—or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.

Jesus wants more than our admiration. He wants our worship.

Jesus was saying, "Nicodemus, being religious and moral is not enough. Self-improvement is not enough. No, you must be born all over again."

But what does that mean?

To be born again means to be "born from above." It is a radical heart change that only God can do. But it comes from above, not from self-effort or from self-improvement programs.

You might think to yourself, "Well, I'm a Christian, but I'm not one of those 'born again' types."

Newsflash—According to Jesus, you can't be a genuine Christian without being born again.

You might wonder, how does this actually happen?

If you can't wait, just read Chapter 3 from the Gospel of John for the whole story.

There's no better source than that.

Note: This article is excerpted from Greg's forthcoming Baker book called "Walking With Jesus."

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
6:19 AM

i told this to my boss...
Saturday, November 24, 2007//

What Keeps Me Up At Night?

I have touched a life. Be a friend to someone. Value-add to the people around me in the big and small ways.

That’s my mission statement in life.

“to make a difference in ppl’s lives. Be a human Engineer”

* Just as water faces reflects faces, a man’s heart reveals the man *

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
5:23 AM

off the camp i go~
//

PLMGS! tues - thurs, here i am gog with the girls to the Camp :)
long time since i have been away for a leadership camp!!

hope we will have a good time there!
and definitely to build good and strong relationship with them!

OH YA!
20th nov, thurs, 4pm-10pm
X'mas party and POTLUCK session with the girls, Jiali, Me, Ms.Gan Layleng and peeps!
yeah! and Xmas present exchange too :)

i love the happyyyyyy season,
God's love.
God is love.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
3:09 AM

thanks for this entry! :)
Thursday, November 22, 2007//

http://yahwehhagah.blogspot.com/

giving thanks is an intentional and deliberate act to practice this outward manifestation of faith and gratitude.
during difficult times, it's especially impt to still choose to give thanks in the head (even if the heart drags doing so).
such little action of faith and contentment will miraculously allow freedom and deliverance in your journey in life.

The Lord is faithful. and He never fails.
If one were to let go of this faith jus bcos of some difficulties.....
wouldnt you be a little too pampered?
All of us are Work In Progress. We need pruning, moulding, training and cutting, to produce that edge that shines.
Not the typical edge that shines due to our fame, popularity, wealth, beauty or shiokness of having the freedom to do WATEVER we want.
but this unique edge in this world, to be somebody that God has placed in our heart and wants us to become.

The purpose of thanksgiving prayer?

I've been talking to some friends about importance of prayer recently, and I shared with them I don't have a problem with thanksgiving or meditation prayer, yet I don't completely understand the petition prayer - why ask God for something if He already knows what you need. One of them pointed it to me that the same can be said about thanksgiving prayer - why thank God if He already knows you are grateful. Well, I thought, if you put it that way, I don't understand it either.

Just now I came across this post with a mystery quotation that, in opinion, addresses this issue very well:

Jesus’ encounter with the ten lepers illustrates the importance of thanksgiving. Countless sermons have been preached about the healing of the ten lepers, focusing attention on the theme of gratitude. The thrust of many of these sermons has been that Jesus healed ten lepers, but that only one of them was grateful. The only polite response to such preaching is to call it what it is—nonsense. It is inconceivable that a leper enduring the abject misery he faced daily in the ancient world would not be grateful for receiving instant healing from the dreadful disease. Had he been one of the lepers, even Adolph Hitler would have been grateful.

The issue in the story is not one of gratitude, but of thanksgiving. It is one thing to feel grateful; it is another thing to express it. Lepers were cut off from family and friends. Instant cleansing meant release from exile. We can imagine them deliriously happy, rushing home to embrace their wives and children, to announce their healing. Who would not be grateful? But only one of them postponed his return home and took time to give thanks. The account in Luke 17 reads: “Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice; and he fell on his face at Jesus’ feet, giving him thanks. Now he was a Samaritan” (verses 15-16; italics mine).

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
5:40 PM

when is the season....
Tuesday, November 20, 2007//

when others have and i dun have. i started becoming anxious, bitter and envy.
i cannot control and find it tormenting to curb such depressing emotions.

Lord, i am real and i have my human flesh, i wish i can practice much more self control.
but yet at the same time, i need to be real and honest with you with what and how i am feeling.

Lord, i have even stopped thinking and reasoning. and i have started feeling.
feeling your blessings, counting the blessings, grasping onto the little glimpse of faith and trust in you.

Lord, how impatient i am to think that results will not come.
how faithful i am to think that you will shortchange me.
how fickle minded to doubt that perhaps i have heard you incorrectly and have count myself luck to what i have put myself through.
Lord, what good would it do to me to keep on comparing: both blessings and sufferings.

i wish i am her. i wish i am him. i wish i haf this. i wish i haf that.
i wish i didnt do this. i wish i didnt do that. i wish and i ponder and i start dwelling myself into pits and slumps.

LORD......i am crying deep within and i wish i can more of like JOB.
to stand firm in faith and trust that You will provide when JOB has lost almost everything and everything that is possible.
yes, he doubted. yes, he wavered. but yet, he remains strong.

Lord, i wish i can be like abraham, to trust your heart, and willingly and trustingly surrender issac to You.

Lord, been a long time since i last experience a personal encounter with you.
i know you have always been there for me.
i know even right now as i am blogging, you are still keeping me in your mind.
i know that even when i was having gastric flu and terribly sick for the past 2 days, you were with me. to protect me adn i was miraculously healed right now.

Lord, i seriously feel like crying. but i do not want to do so.
i am not strong.....lord....i am only but a flesh.......a human..............

i do not want to quit like a loser, but i want to ride on in victory with your strength.

when will i see a breakthr?
when will i see the light?
when will i experience a victory?

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
10:06 PM

yes........it's long and sometimes it can be frustrating...
//

Its a pretty lo n g journey
this thing called life
Some say its rough
but some say its nice.

But some things stay the same,
even when life turns a little grey.
Like His love ever flowing
to chase our blues away.

So life takes on a new meaning,
when we know that Someone's up there
who sees a different us,
cause He truly, truly cares

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
10:05 PM

where is the boundary?
//

sometimes i feel that i am getting way too close to some of my investors.
and i think i need to start drawing boundaries and lines btw them and me.

God, grant me wisdom, and a discerning heart.
as much as i want to close a deal, build rapport, network and also to make a good frd....
i do not want to go into boundaries that are forbidden by you.

Lord, all i want is a pure and decent heart.
to want to make a difference in my investors' lives as well as to help and assist them in their investment.
most imptly, is to be a good testimony for you....to reach out to them in any ways possible.

Lord Jesus. help.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
6:47 AM

24th May 2007

Mr Raymond Lim

CVD Process Manager

STMicroelectronics Pte Ltd

28 Ang Mo Kio Industrial Park 2

Singapore 569508

Dear Sir,

Re: Letter of Resignation

I would like to tender my resignation on 24th May 2007. My last day of service to the company will be on the 30th June 2007.

It has been a great experience and training for the past 1yr, where you have trained, molded & stretched me beyond my comfort zones. Thank you sincerely.

The character development and the invaluable work attitude are something that I believe are the greatest things that all Thin Film colleagues (esp you and Mr.Beh) have imparted to me.

Thank you especially for giving me the invaluable support and guidance during my period of service. Thank you also for the kind patience, as well as, the generosity to withstand my nonsense and my incapability during this year of service.

I would also like to extend my gratitude to all Thin Film colleagues for their supportive guidance and encouragement.

Yours sincerely,
Name: Ong Yan Ying
Process Engineer II
Employee No. C13028, PE114466

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
5:44 AM

i love the yahct!!!!
Thursday, November 15, 2007//

it was a pretty good xperience :)
cosy night, nice chat, nice food, nice weather, nice drinks, nice games! :)
loveeeeeelllyyyyy~

YEAH! car to Sentosa to a SPLENDID MANAGERS retreat cruise with Il Lido Yahct.

Cars packed at One Degree 15 multi-storey carpark at $1 per entry.

Dinner was Buffet Style with mainly Italian Cuisine. Served with soft drinks, juices and some wine and champagne.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
9:16 AM

if He is not Lord of all, then He is not Lord at all....
Wednesday, November 14, 2007//

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Lord of All

"A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Therefore by their fruits you will know them."

— Matthew 7:18–20

There are people today who say, "I am a Christian," but they are out getting drunk. They say, "I am a Christian," but they are having premarital sex or being unfaithful to their husband or wife. They say, "I am a Christian," but in their business, they lie to people every single day. They distort things. They take money that is not really theirs. There are a lot of people today who think they are Christians but are not, because they have not really changed. They are not living according to what the Bible teaches.

I am not saying that a Christian cannot sin. I am not saying that a Christian won't slip up. But I am saying that there is a big difference between a person who slips up, sins, is sorry for it, and wants to change and a person who lives in continual, willful, habitual sin.

The Bible says that if you live that way, you don't know God. Maybe the reason that some people have never really known the joy of the Lord is that they have never met the basic requirements of salvation. They think being a Christian is just having Jesus along for the ride. They don't realize that He wants to be their Lord and wants to lead and guide them. They don't realize that He has a distinct and unique plan and purpose for their lives.

Jesus Christ wants to be the Lord of every aspect of your life. He wants to be the Lord of your business, your free time, your relationships—the Lord of all. And if He is not Lord of all, then He is not Lord at all.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
10:30 PM

Sunday, November 11, 2007//

Make a date with Nick Vujicic

On the morning of 4th Dec 1982, something miraculous happened in Melbourne, Australia. Nick Vujicic was born into a Christian family, his father, a pastor of a local church. The only shock was this - he was born without limbs. The doctors had no explanation for this and did not even expect it. It was a trying time for Nick's parents. They asked God all the WHYs and HOWs and questioned if God was a loving God, how could he ever allow something like that to happen, especially to a couple who loved God deeply. Naturally, they didn't think their son would survive long, but here's where the miracle was only starting to unfold itself. Nick was a healthy baby despite the lack of his limbs.

In time, Nick's parents and Nick himself overcame the fear and anger in their lives. Today, Nick is a 25-year-old motivational speaker who speaks in both Christian and non-Christian venues. He has a Bachelor of Commerce majoring in Financial Planning and Accounting and loves to swim, fish and play soccer.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
5:58 AM

through it all...
//

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
4:25 AM

i know my future is in His hands.
//

the thing i scared most is esp when you prayed for me in church.
or when you start showing me TLC.

i accepted Christ when i was in NUS yr 2 ard May, 2004.
been about 3yrs i have been with and together with you.
from acquittance we started.

i used to be very attached, only to realise, i need to grow up and be independent.
i started refraining myself to get too close emotionally esp. cos i know ultimately i will get hurt.
and hence, i started hardening my heart & stop myself from becoming too vulnerable to you.

perhaps, that's how relationship betw you and me started drifting.
and perhaps, that's when i no longer care and show love explicitly to you.

if i can remember, for the last 6mths or so, it has been like this. till now.

definitely, it's also bcos i am still struggling with a particular issue which i have yet to break free.
it's totally taking control over me. and it has stopped me from singing praises to God like how i used to be.

i wish i can be more disciplined. i wish i can practice more self control.
i wish i can accept and love myself more.

or rather, i haf stopped asking God to turn back the hands of Time.

today's sermon spoke strongly to me.
(1) know and believe that God has a purpose and future for you.
(2) decide to chose God's purpose for me
(3) Trust that God is in control
(4) develop an intimate relationship with God.

what struck me most is when pastor Khong said... "God is more interested to form you. then jus to let you fulfil His plan for me."

i mean. w o w.
God. let this be a new beginning, for me to write YES to all paychecks, to all proposals, to all ROM certs, to everything in my life.... in the name of Jesus.
as long as it's for you and from you. let it be a willing YES.

change my heart condition and attitude.
renew my mind.
grant me a new start. physically. emotionally. spiritually. mentality.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
4:04 AM

rain.
Friday, November 09, 2007//

God told me.
rain is good.
for the grass that He has watered.

too much, it will drown them. abundance may not be good.
too little, it will drought them. scarcity is torturous.

under the hot blazing sun, it's good to rain more. dehydration is solved.
under the wee morning dews, no need to rain so much. leaves are already hydrated and moisturised.

the right amt of water. at the right time.
isnt it difficult and challengin hur?
that's why God is soverign and almighty.
that's why God knows exactly the season. the timing. the ingredients.

God died for us...how much would He not have given us as compared to those grass?
How much would He not have loved us?
How much would He not have cared for us?
How much would He not prosper us?
How much more do you think you have to do to "gain" and "win" His love?
N O T H I N G more you can do.

that's the fact.
He has walked the path...He has died on the cross.
all has been done.
and He has rosed on high in the heavens.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
4:55 PM

WINNING FORMULA: Let Go.... be contented and wait....... Trust in Jesus
//

2007/11/09

As Quiet As A Child
by Jon Walker

I don't concern myself with matters too great or awesome for me. But I have stilled and quieted myself, just as a small child is quiet with its mother. Yes, like a small child is my soul within me. O Israel, put your hope in the LORD— now and always. Psalms 131:1b-3 (NLT)

Today’s devotional actually comes from my sister, a godly woman and serious prayer warrior. She emailed this morning, saying she’d been thinking the peace of God that passes all understanding.

She said she’d spent some time meditating on Psalm 131 –

· Verse 1b – “… I don't concern myself with matters too great or awesome for me …” We are free to live out our purpose when we relinquish control of the things that don’t belong to us in the first place. Such as -- worry about things over which we have no control; or trying to control something we have no business trying to control.

· Verse 2 – “But I have stilled and quieted myself, just as a small child is quiet with its mother ….” I trust, even when the out come seems a long way away. A nursing child wants attention NOW, but weaned child trusts and is content to wait.

· Verse 3 – “… Put your hope in the LORD— now and always.” We hope in the Lord with confident expectation. In other words, we truly believe that he will answer our prayers, that he will respond, that he will get us through. You can declare confidently that the Lord will pave you way and walk with you and keep your feet from stumbling. He’s done it before and He’ll do it again!

Praise God for His peace! It is through His peace that we can do all things - and endure so much. It is a peace that passes all understanding.

What now?

· Overly Concerned – Is your peace undermined because you’re concerned about matters that are not even your responsibility? Or, matter that you have absolutely no control over? Ask God what should be on your ‘responsibility’ list; ask him what items you should remove from your ‘responsibility’ list. Psalm 131:1b – “I don't concern myself with matters too great or awesome for me.”

· Prayer, but Delayed Gratification – Are you at peace because you have learned to trust God and wait? If not, ask God to reveal what makes you demand an immediate answer from him, and talk to him about what he reveals. Ask God to help you learn to trust him – and to wait. Psalm 131:2 – “But I have stilled and quieted myself, just as a small child is quiet with its mother. Yes, like a small child is my soul within me.”

· Confident Expectation – When you say you hope in the Lord, really hope in the Lord. Expect him to come through for you – at just the right time in just the right way. Psalm 131:3 – “O Israel, put your hope in the LORD— now and always.”

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
4:25 PM

i miss my operators...
Thursday, November 08, 2007//

i was shopping at tampines IKEA today with my parents...
and suddenly..i received a call from my G1 operator ZiHua.

oh man...he's from china...
and after so long, abt 3mths later, he actually still remember my hp.
we chatted about 10min.
and he is reali sweet....he still remember me...
this little engineer :)

God.......................
have i done the correct decision?
man.... sigh.
i miss. so miss. my STMicroelectronics day.

and yet, i drag too...haha.
hated those dynamic, ultra irregular lunchtime.
those night shifts.

but...i also miss my frds there.
my dear operators. engineers.

Lord, why cant i have the best of both world?

....................................................................................................... -_-''

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
5:32 AM

aussie random photo (5)
//

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
5:21 AM

aussie random photo (4)
//

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
5:03 AM

God's gift for me...
//

Spiritual Gift of Helps/Service

Place in Scripture: Romans 12:7; 1 Corinthians 12:28

Defined: The gift of helps/service is the ability to joyfully work alongside another and help that person complete the task God has given them. People with this gift generally prefer to work behind the scenes. They also tend to find joy in helping alleviate the burdens and responsibilities of others. This gift is usually accompanied with an attitude of humility and sacrifice, as well as an ability to perceive the needs of others.

General Makeup: These people tend to demonstrate a servant attitude, loyalty, attention to detail, and responsiveness to the initiatives of others. They function well in positions of detail and assistant leadership.
Seen in Jesus’ ministry: Matthew 20:28 says that “the Son of Man (Jesus) did not come to be serve, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” Jesus also said, “I am among you as one who serves,” and He even washed His disciples’ feet (John 13:5).

Illustrated Biblically: Because servants often work behind the scenes their work but not their names is often mentioned in Scripture (e.g., Numbers 11:17; 1 Timothy 6:2; Acts 6:1-3). People named in the Bible who helped the church through service include Phoebe, Priscilla, Aquila, Tryphena, Tryphosa (Romans 16:1-4, 12), and John Mark (Acts 13:5). Some people with this gift are also appointed to leadership as church deacons (1 Timothy 3:8-13).

Spiritual Gift of Encouragement

Place in Scripture: Romans 12:8

Defined: The gift of encouragement (also called the gift of exhortation) involves motivating, encouraging, and consoling others so they mature in their walk with Jesus.

General Makeup: Christians with this gift have an unusual sensitivity for and are attracted to those who are discouraged or struggling. As a result, people tend to pursue them for healing words, gracious truth, and compassionate counsel. These people also tend to have a high degree of patience and optimism. They may have a knack for one-on-one relationships and prefer working with an individual or small group.

Seen in Jesus’ ministry: Jesus told us to love even our enemies and do good to them (Luke 6:27-35), and exhorted people to “leave your life of sin” (John 8:11).

Illustrated Biblically: Barnabas, whose name means “Son of Encouragement” (Acts 4:36), encouraged Paul (Acts 9:27) and John Mark (Acts 15:39). Paul had this gift (Acts 14:21-22; 16:40; 20:1) as did Judas and Silas (Acts 15:31-32).

Spiritual Gift of Administration

Place in Scripture: 1 Corinthians 12:28

Defined: The gift of administration is the God-given ability to give direction and make decisions on behalf of others that result in efficient operation and accomplishment of goals. Administration includes the ability to organize people, things, information, finances, etc. Often the mark of an administrator is the ability to accomplish things in a “fitting and orderly way” (1 Corinthians 14:40).

General Makeup: Administrators often have a keen eye for detail. They may also possess the natural talents of organization, observing and using details, problem solving, and reasoning.

Seen in Jesus’ ministry: Jesus organized His ministry by choosing his inner circle of three disciples (Mark 9:2), appointing the twelve (Mark 3:13-14), and sending out the seventy two by two (Luke 10:1).

Illustrated Biblically: Joseph (Genesis 41:41-57; 47:13-26), Jethro (Exodus 18), and Titus (Titus 1:5) all demonstrate the gift of administration.

Spiritual Gift of Mercy

Place in Scripture: Romans 12:8

Defined: The gift of mercy is the capacity to feel and express unusual compassion and sympathy for those in difficult or crisis situations and provide them with the necessary help and support to see them through tough times.

General Makeup: They have the ability to “walk in another’s shoes” and to feel the pain and burdens they carry. They desire to make a difference in the lives of hurting people without being judgmental. They may have a difficult time evaluating the intentions of others and at times appear naïve.

Seen in Jesus’ ministry: Jesus taught on mercy (Matt. 5:7, 9:13, 23:23). He is repeatedly described as having compassion (Matt. 9:36; 15:32; 23:37; Luke 7:13) and was so filled with mercy that He sometimes wept (John 11:35). Jesus’ mercy included an attentiveness to and concern for children (Matt. 19:14).

Illustrated Biblically: Dorcas “Was always doing good and helping the poor” (Acts 9:36). Also, the good Samaritan is one of the most classic stories ever told on the subject of mercy (Luke 10:30-37).

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
4:58 AM

what is my ONE thing?
Wednesday, November 07, 2007//

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

One Thing

One thing I have desired of the Lord, that will I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in His temple.

— Psalm 27:4

David wrote in the psalms, "One thing I have desired of the Lord, that will I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in His temple" (Psalm 27:4, emphasis mine). He was saying that one thing that really excited him was spending time in the presence of God.

Mary knew this one thing, too, when Jesus came to visit her and her sister Martha in the little village of Bethany. She sat down at His feet, because she saw a tremendous opportunity to hear what He had to say.

Martha, a hardworking woman, wanted to impress the Lord with a fine meal. That is an understandable thing if you had a guest like Jesus. Can you imagine Jesus showing up at your house? You would want to make Him something nice. You wouldn't give Him a microwave dinner or reheated food from last night. You would want to prepare a special meal.

As Martha was working away, she undoubtedly kept looking for Mary. Where is Mary? I can't believe she is not in here. Finally in frustration, she came out—probably with her hands on her hips—and said, "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me."

Jesus replied, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her" (Luke 10:41–42).

Mary figured out one thing, and that was the importance of sitting at Jesus' feet. What is your "one thing"?

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
5:07 PM

Grayson County Project :)
//

US exchange rate: 1.456!!!

yes la!!! walton's land is snatching up fast!! :)
land price + currency rise = spectacular in a mid-term investment!

to find out more:
feel free to ring me up!

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
7:34 AM

Kuai Ling's New borned TWINS!! (my ST gold fab coordinator!!)
//

ARENT THESE BABIES CUTE?!?!?!

oh man......cute little angels!!! :) LOVE IT!

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
7:06 AM

Dear Diary.
//

ARGHHHH.

" i am frustrated from everything....
everything is W R O N G wrong and wrong today.
and i seriously wonder why.

i do not want to believe in all the "laws of attraction" crap. or the "anthony or adam's brainwashing" shit.
neither do i want to bluff and physcho myself to feel good!

God, i ONLY want your reassurance in all that i do.
i need to SEE and FEEL to know that you are my providence.

i understand that faith is believing in the unseen.
but it's torturous.
cos i am only but a human...

guide me O Lord.
renew my tots and grant me a greater level of faith within.

there are many things i wish i could have or achieve.
there are many times when i wonder if turning back the hands of time will work.
there are many reasons why i can keep on complaining, but yet there are also many reasons why i can keep to giving thanks.

O Lord, give me a thanksgiving heart.
give me a victorious spirit.

OHHHH, i need to excel.
alrights, i know. i am too wilful. i am too prideful.
i am too much of a perfectionist.

but O lord....didnt you ask for excellence too?
What if God is one of us...?

Lord, i seriously do not know how to strike a balance.
letting go and let you take charge & still yet the same time, giving my best.

it's tormenting bcos esp in this job, i have lost all my control.
hahaha.

serious, someone like me. i need to be in control. of circumstances.
like when i was in the bball court or hockey pitch. when i was studying. when i was doing my proj. like when i was organising some church event. like when i was doing pressie for darling frds................................................................
i wish i can control everything and make them happen to the way i want it.

BUT, i know it's possible. cos i am not God.
cos Lord you are wiser than me.
i want to be like Job in the bible.
to give thanks and have faith in who you are.

i want to be like abraham to surrender Issas to you at the mountains.
i want to be like King david, a great man of faith, whom you have called him Friend.
i do not want to be like Peter, who have denied you 3times. and bcos of my lack of faith, to sunk into the sea.

Lord, multiply my 5 loaves and 2 fishes.... "

In Jesus' most precious name i pray....A M E N.....

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
6:39 AM

thanks beixuan!! i love your blog!!!!! :)
Tuesday, November 06, 2007//

AM I YOUR DARLING?

just last week, chantelle decided to be a little more lovey-dovey. she came up to me out of the blue and gave me a big hug.

chantelle: ms xuan, am i your darling?
me: *surprised* oh yes, do you want to be my darling?
chantelle: *covers her mouth and giggles* yes!
me: okay then, you are my darling!

after a few minutes, she came back to me.

chantelle: ms xuan, if i am your darling, can you be my darling too?
me: *laughs* you want me to be your darling?
chantelle: *covers her mouth and giggles* yes, of cos!
me: *laughs* okay then, i'm now your darling and you are mine!

so, i don't really suppose she'll remember this much details. but look at what happened today when i was getting the girls to eat their dinner. audrey was taking a long time, making a big fuss out of her vegetables and rice and fish, which she usually don't do so. i got a little impatient as she had to finish eating by a certain time.

me: audrey! you need to eat everything and finish up so that you'll be on time when mummy & daddy pick you up.
audrey: but but i don't like the carrot together with the rice!
me: so you don't want to go home?
audrey: i want!
me: that is why you have to finish up everything now, darling.

chantelle looked up from eating her dinner and stares at audrey, pouts her lips and looked back at me.

chantelle: ms xuan, i thought i am your darling? how come you call audrey darling?
me: oh, you are all my darlings!
chantelle: no, cannot!

she turns back and looked at audrey sternly.

chantelle: audrey! i am ms xuan's darling okay. you cannot like that one. next time ms xuan call darling, means that she is calling me! hmmmph! *folds her arms*
me: ?!

after dinner & evening snacks, i took my kids to television room to watch cartoons with the other children while they wait for their parents to pick them up. but audrey and chantelle decided that they wanted to go to the toilet. so i brought them while i left the rest in the television room with the other teachers.

audrey was pretty fast, i suppose it was because she wanted to hurry back to watch cartoons. but to my surprise, she sat at the bench outside the toilet.

me: audrey, do you want to go back first? i'll wait for chantelle and you can go watch cartoons in the room.
audrey: oh, its alright. i can read a book and wait for her.
me: ok, then i will go and check if my darling is ready.

i stepped back into the toilet and looked for chantelle.

me: chantelle, are you done?
no response.
me: chantelle, are you done?
no response.
me: DARLING! are you done?
chantelle: heehee. no, not yet.
me: *laughs* you cheeky girl, answer me only when i call you darling. how come you are taking so long?
chantelle: because i poo-poo!
me: you poo-poo and you didn't tell me?
chantelle: *giggles*
me: so are you done yet?
chantelle: no, not yet.
me: ok i will wait for you outside with audrey. call me when you're done alright?
chantelle: yes ms xuan darling!
me: *laughs*

a minute later.

me: audrey, are you sure you still want to wait for chantelle? do you want to go back first?
audrey: it is ok, i am still reading my book.
me: how about you go in and check if my darling is ready?
audrey: ok!

audrey went into the toilet and i followed behind her.

audrey: DARLING! your darling ask if her darling is done with her poo-poo?
chantelle: yes yes! tell my darling that her darling finish her poo-poo already!
me: *faints*

those two sentences were simply amazing for my two beloved 3-year olds!

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
7:16 AM

msg for you.
//

HOLDING ON TO YOUR FAITH

DURING DIFFICULT TIMES

PURPOSE

In this study, we will look at some biblical principles that we should reflect on while we are going through difficult times.

OPENER

Have you ever been so discouraged that you felt like giving up on your faith?

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LESSON

HERE ARE THREE PRINCIPLES THAT WE SHOULD REFLECT ON WHEN WE ARE SUFFERING PHYSICALLY OR EMOTIONALLY.

1. FIRST, DURING OUR TIMES OF SUFFERING, GOD IS NEAR EVEN WHEN HE SEEMS SO FAR AWAY.

Have you ever felt that God was no where to be found when you needed Him the most?

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When we experience difficult trials and tribulations, and times of suffering, we normally pray to God and ask Him for immediate relief. However, as we all know, God answers prayer in His own time, so we may not receive immediate help from Him. We may have to go through many days, or weeks, or months or years of trying times. And after suffering awhile we start wondering why God hasn't intervened. We begin questioning ourselves. What have I done to deserve this and then we begin to question whether or not God even cares. We feel as though God has abandoned us and that He is nowhere to be found. We feel alone and isolated from God.

In (Psalm 13:1), how did David feel while he was running for his life from Saul?

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David experienced a feeling of isolation from God. He believed that God was not with him during his time of intense trials.

Brethren, it is common and natural to feel isolated from God when we experience difficult times, however, the Bible assures us that God is present even when He seems far away.

Even when God seems 1,000 miles away and uninterested in our affairs, He is with us step-by-step during our difficult times. A wonderful illustration of this unseen presence is described in (Luke 24:13-35). Read these verses and share how they illustrate God's unseen presence in time of need.

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In this passage, two of Jesus’ disciples were walking toward a village called Emmaus. They just came from Jerusalem and were undoubtedly very upset and depressed because they witnessed the crucifixion of their Lord Jesus. They were not only discouraged because Jesus was dead, but also because it was the third day and they had hoped that Jesus would have been raised from the dead, as their Lord promised. They must have given up hope on Jesus’ resurrection and decided to head home, back to their old way of life. But as they were walking, something marvelous happened. In (vv. 15 & 16), the Bible said, “As they talked and discussed these things with each other, Jesus himself came up and walked along with them.” These men, who were most certainly experiencing emotional and spiritual pain because of Jesus’ death, did not know that Jesus was walking right along with them the whole time. During their time of anguish, Jesus was next to their side.

My friends, if we are faithful, God is walking right along with us especially during our times of suffering, even when we feel isolated from Him. He has not abandoned us, for we are His children and He loves us and cares for us. We must realize that He is watching over us and is doing what is best for us. (1 Pet. 5:7) tells us to cast all our anxiety on Him because He cares for us. Does this sound like a God who cares little about our problems? When we suffer, we may feel isolated from God, but the reality is that God is with us step-by-step. Isn't that encouraging News?

2. SECOND, GOD'S TIMING IS PERFECT WITH HIS ASSISTANCE, EVEN WHEN HE APPEARS CATASTROPHICALLY LATE.

When we suffer, we naturally want God to immediately take away our pain. But sometimes, we think that He can be agonizingly slow in solving the problems that we bring to His attention. Tell us of a time where you felt that God was slow with His assistance.

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But even though at times God seems to be late with His assistance, I would like to say that His timing is always perfect. In (John 11:1-46), Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead. How does this story show that God's timing is always perfect?

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(John 11:1-46) tells the story of Mary, Martha, and their brother Lazarus. The members of this little family were among Jesus’ closest friends during the time of His earthly ministry. In fact, verse 5 says, “Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.”

Well, one day, Lazarus became very ill, almost to the point of death, so his sisters did the logical thing--they sent an urgent note to Jesus, saying, “Lord, the one you love is sick” (v. 3). Now they had every reason to believe He would immediately respond. However, days had passed before Jesus finally made it to Lazarus and by that time it was too late, he had already died. On Jesus’ arrival, we read that Martha came to Jesus and said, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” Do you think that Martha could have been a bit discouraged that Jesus was to late? Could she have been annoyed when He showed up because she expected Jesus to be there for them. She may have been tempted to say,” Where have you been, Sir? You’re too late now. You could have saved him, but apparently there were more important things on your mind.” Do we at times get angry at God because of His delayed timing?

But in (v. 43), Jesus performed one of His most dramatic miracles as He called Lazarus out of the tomb. You see, Jesus was not late at all. He only appeared to be overdue. He arrived at the precise moment necessary to fulfill the purposes of God--just as He always does. God’s purpose was fulfilled through Lazarus because in v. 45, we read that many Jews because of what they had seen but their faith in Jesus. You see, Brethren, God is never late when it comes to Him handling our painful situations. He is always on time: His time and not our time. When we suffer, there is a possibility that God is allowing us to go through it for His purpose and for our own good.

Why does God allow us to suffer instead of immediately taking care of our problems?

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In (Rom. 5:3-4), we read that suffering will build our character. Suffering makes us stronger and better Christians.

3. LASTLY, DURING OUR TIMES OF SUFFERING, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO DO IS KEEP OUR FAITH AND TRUST IN GOD.

Why do some people, after experiencing a tragic situation, blame God and give up on their faith? Should we blame God for all of the tragedies in the world?

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Some people believe that God is the one who brought the disaster so they blame Him and give up their faith.

Some people blame God for things that He doesn’t do. For example, if a brother or sister in Christ dies tragically, some people reply, “It was just God’s will,” even though the brother or sister was killed by a drunk driver or gunned down by an angry person. God never put the liquor in that driver, or a bullet in that person’s gun, and God did not kill those people. Some events that happen are not God’s will. Many tragic events are caused by the devil. He has the “power of death” (Heb. 2:14). He is responsible for the illnesses and accidents that cause pain and death (Jn. 8:44). The devil brought sickness and death into the world by bringing sin into the world, and he is still doing it today. Yes, God allows terrible things to happen, but the only way He could avoid that would be to take away our power of choice and make us all robots. Bad things happen to good people. However, for Christians, according to (Rom. 8:28 NASV), “God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God.” In other words, even out of the bad things that Satan brings into our lives – accidents, sickness, etc. – God will bring good out of them for us, if we let Him. From suffering we learn humility and patience. From the death of a loved one, we learn compassion and the power of faith and hope.

What did Job do after he experienced severe tragedy in his life (Job 1:2)?

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When Job lost his sons and daughters, his wealth, his servants, and was stricken with painful soars that spanned throughout his body, it would have been easy for him to blame God and abandon his faith. However, the Bible says that Job “fell to the ground” (Job 1:20) and worshipped God. He held onto his faith in God even thought his life was full of pain and agony. When we go through tough times, the most important thing for us to do is to keep our faith in God.

According to (Revelation 2:10), what will we receive if we remain faithful to God?

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Brethren, we must never give up on God and our faith just because we go through suffering situations. We must “Be faithful, even to the point of death” and the Bible says that Jesus will “give us the crown of life” (Rev. 2:10).

CONCLUSION:

1. The Bible teaches us that we are going to suffer in many different ways. And when we suffer, let us remember these three important principles: (a) If we are faithful, God is present, even when He seems far away; (b) God’s timing is perfect, even when He appears catastrophically late; and (c) During our times of suffering, the most important thing to do is keep our faith and trust in God.

2. If you have been suffering as of late, I hope that this message has uplifted your spirit.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
6:52 AM