start afresh, know God as the God He is. not the God whom we think He is...

Peter denied & replied the Lord 3 times.
Thursday, January 31, 2008//

Send to a Friend!
Thursday, January 31, 2008

What Love Looks Like

"My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth."
— 1 John 3:18

Have you ever felt like a spiritual failure? If so, then you're in good company. Even the apostle Peter felt that way after he denied the Lord.

When Jesus told the disciples they would abandon Him in His hour of need, Peter insisted that he never would. But Jesus said that Peter would deny Him three times before the rooster crowed that day. And he did.

Now, Peter finds himself in an awkward moment. Jesus was crucified and had risen on the third day. He suddenly appears to them at the Sea of Galilee. Before they knew it, Jesus was cooking breakfast for everyone with the fish He had just helped them catch. Maybe as they ate, Peter was remembering when, not all that long ago, he denied the Lord by the glow of another fire.

Eventually, the Lord breaks the silence. He asks Peter a series of questions, each with the same phrase: "Do you love Me?"

Peter had learned his lesson. Instead of boasting of his love for the Lord, he simply answers, "Yes Lord; You know that I love you" (John 21:15–17). In the original language, the word Peter used for "love" was phileo. It could be translated, "have an affection for."

At least Peter was being honest. We can talk all day about how much we love God, but never act on it. Peter eventually proved his love for the Lord. A leader in the early church and the writer of two New Testament epistles, he reportedly was crucified upside-down as a martyr for his faith.

How about you? Is your love for the Lord expressed more by your words than your actions?

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
11:31 PM

Helena is a real beauty.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
5:53 AM

Dear Diary...
Wednesday, January 30, 2008//

Friend.

Do you know what i am going through?
Do you know the struggles that i am facing right now?
Do you know that i seriously want to just give up and be totally defeated?

Friend.

Do you know the tears in my heart & the tears from my eyes lately?
Do you know it takes a lot from me to sacrifice till this stage?
Do you know i am feeling VERY defeated and belittled now?

Friend.

Do you know the high hopes which i keep pinning on, only to realise that once again and again, it was or they were tarnished?
Do you know the feeling of having to wait and humble down and feel like i am so useless that i cant be in control? that i cant perform?
Do you know it frustrates me in a viscous cycle that i seriously cant break free?

Lord. I need a miracle. I need to SEE a miracle. I need to feel a miracle.
Grant me an oppt to realise the fact on surrendering to live in your sufficiency.

THE year of Sabbath is a little painful....

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
6:35 AM

Lord...so what can i say? so what can i do?
//

Friday, January 25, 2008

The Ultimate Sacrifice

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life."
— John 3:16

I heard a true story about a man who operated a drawbridge. At a certain time every afternoon, he raised the bridge for a ferryboat to go by, and then lowered it in time for a passenger train to cross over. He performed this task precisely, according to the clock.

One day, he brought his son to work so he could watch. As his father raised the bridge, the boy got excited and wanted to take a closer look. His father realized his son was missing and began looking for him. To his horror, his son had come dangerously close to the bridge's gears. Frantic, he wanted to go rescue him, but if he left the controls, he would not be back in time to lower the bridge for the approaching passenger train.

He faced a dilemma. If he lowered the bridge, his son would be killed. If he left it raised, hundreds of others would die. He knew what he had to do. With tears streaming down his face, he watched the passenger train roll by. On board, two women chatted over tea. Others were reading newspapers. All were totally unaware of what had just transpired. The man cried out, "Don't you realize that I just gave my son for you?" But they just continued on their way.

This story is a picture of what happened at the Cross. God gave up His beloved Son so that we might live. But most people don't give it a second thought. How about you? Are you conscious of the ultimate sacrifice God made on your behalf? Will you be sure to thank Him?

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
6:34 AM

O Lord.

· We exhibit tender hearts when we say to one another:

§ It’s OK to have a bad day.

§ It’s OK to be tired.

§ It’s OK to admit your mistakes.

§ It’s OK to say your marriage is failing.

§ It’s OK to confess your addiction.

§ It’s OK to share you’re scared.

§ It’s OK to want a day away from your toddler.

§ It’s OK to grieve a loss.

§ It’s OK to doubt, to be confused, to cry.

· We exhibit humble minds when we say to one another:

§ It’s OK to be happy you got a new car.

§ It’s OK to celebrate that you got a huge raise.

§ It’s OK to joyfully tell us you lost 17 pounds.

§ It’s OK to say you won the sales competition.

§ It’s OK to shout “Hallelujah!” because God’s presence in your life is so good.

§ It’s OK to tell us these things because we will be as happy for you as if these blessings had come to us, and we will join you in hearty celebration.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
6:02 AM

ON is the key word.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008//

I wonder why i even bother to spend time on some ppl.

Yes, meditate on this.

not spend time "with" some ppl.
But spend time "ON" some ppl.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
7:24 AM

Dating with "Tian-Xin" PART2!
Monday, January 28, 2008//

drove to meet "tian-xin" at J8.
Ate my favourite dinner!!! :)

WALKED AIMLESSLY for like 2hrs & not getting a present for her frd?!?!

Damn inefficient. seriously. sirius.

it was a good catching up session as usual.

Decided to go for a 3D2N trip! Bintan? Batam? Phuket? Bali? Desaru?
haha...eh...we better plan soon! Cannoottttt all talk, no actions hur hur~

Anyway...luckily i manage to find my way home after i drove you back...

But it was a good personal time driving back home alone in the middle of the night...i always enjoy such feelings...

Anyway, i think i am feeling insecurely insecure.
I am feeling empty. feeling lonely. feeling unappreciated.

I feel i am unloved. Yes, unloved.

HMM..surprise, how come i am typing all these "so unfamiliar" words right now in this entry.....

perhaps, God is revealing something to me.

To this special person, i think i miss you. not a little, but quite a lot.
I do miss seeing you & talking to you.
I do miss the occasional times we used to have in the past.
It's painful when i am always the one giving in, while you are always the one receiving.
I wonder if you treasure me as much as i do towards you.
I wish one day, you will be the one who initiates chat, letters, sms & phone calls.

To another person, i tot God has included me into your life, only to realise this true hard fact that relationships are not built overnight.
It's a repeated cycle of giving and receiving.
Unconditionally.
And perhaps this little relationship is as futile as the water that is poured away...the fragrance of the flowers that bloomed in the season...

Perhaps....God is teaching me a greater definition of relationship & intimacy...

Perhaps....God is softening my heart everytime i hardened it.

Have i been deteriorating spiritual?
Have i grown too slowly based on my spiritual age?
Have i been a disappointment to the spiritual leaders around?
Have i been letting you all down?
Have i not rised up to the standards which spiritually i should have?
Have i not?
Have i not?
Have i not?

I have experienced a great peace, joy & conviction to live in sufficiency since yday...seriously.
I have made a committment that watever tat clashes with my ministry due to my other committments, i will give them up (as long as i am given sufficient notice before hand).

Lord, i hope you do honour this little action.

That as much as i sacrifice everything for you. I will have everything in the name of Jesus.

To this somebody. Show me some love. If you happen to read this.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
7:28 AM

My Love life?
Sunday, January 27, 2008//

Relationships.

takes time.
takes effort.
takes intentional effort of sharing.
takes deliberate effort to forgive & forget.
takes love element to encompass.
takes patient to wait upon and develop.

Relationships.
doesnt happen overnight.

Beixuan & Jiali are 2 good examples of good frdships that were established due to our experiential learning. For the past 3mths+....
We been through thick and thin, we shared openly and allowed each other into our lives, we encouraged each other no matter how "LOW" we are in...we are there to carry each other...we are there to still chose to love, honour and exalt God...

Besides them, definitely some important frdships were established.
But i shant name names...
It is also because of a willingness to share, a deliberate effort to be honest with their feelings...that grant us an ability to get closer and intimate with greater understanding...

And once relationships are built...Lives are involved...and that's when i will not hold back to give and to love.

Alrights...above are all impt and previous frdships in my life that i have established lately..

So how about my love life?

hmm. i guess that is the most "si bai" area of my life.
Cos, i think it is not my priority now. Hence, i am not giving it any time at all. any effort at all. any chance at all.

BUT, hmm..haha...the younger sister-in-christ under me are like getting attached soon?????
Should i start pressing and activating the panick button??

no idea.

Or rather, i think God has not sent me the Adam He has for me yet.
OR rather, i think the guys whom i have crossed path with are prob not the one? THE one?

HMMMM... i am confused.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
7:05 AM

lord i give You my heart...
//

The most important weapon is the heart.
Let God and the angels sent by Him into your lives.
Unlock the Door..

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
7:01 AM

here i am to worship.
//

I pray that this song will minister to you...& grant you the strength, the confidence, the hope and the little faith to carry on.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
6:55 AM

Your Love
by Robert & Lea Sutanto

Your love, Higher than the heavens
Your love, Greater than the earth
Your love, deeper than the ocean
Yes, your love to me, Father God

It was your love, you died and rose again
It was your love, redeemed me from my sin
It is your love now fill my live with joy,
so abundantly...
Your love, the everlasting love

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
6:45 AM

Funny Video
//

Something for you to cheer up :)

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
6:27 AM

L O v E encompasses all...
//

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
5:07 AM

My Jesus is sufficient for me.
//

finally...i know why am i so affected for the past 6mths...especially these 2-3mths.

Because all these years, even though i am a christian...i am still pinning on my own strength for my own providence.
I have been fighting for my sufficiency all these while...fighting to survive in the world...in everything that i do..

In my family, i want to provide my family with financial stability, with good life....trying my best to be a good daughter...

In my career, i want to strive to achieve as much (financially) as possible...i want to be the top rookie, i want to be seen as successful and capable by my peers and colleagues.... i want to be seen differently from my clients...

In my Church Ministry, i always try to be as "holy" as possible...try to be as "obedient" as i can...try to be able to live my life as much as i can to make a difference in ppl's lives....

In my personal life, i try to subdue the "unholiness flesh" constantly....always trying to curb the mind VS heart battle in me...always psycho-ing myself in the Godly manner....

AND finally, these 2-3mths, i have broken down...bcos i have reached my PERSONAL limit. i cannot do these anymore on my own..on my own strength...on my own might...

I am weak. I am only sapphire..i am only a human....

SO finally...after meeting up with Pastor Julie, Pastor Yolanda & hearing Pastor Eugene sermon...

I realised. Finally...i understand...
To be frank...watever i have experienced today...i seriously do not know how to put them down in words...

(1) God is my sufficiency. He is sufficient. He is the only one who is sufficient.
(2) Grace teaches me that God loves me, not bcos of who i am...but bcos of who He is.
(3) Every sacrifices made for the Lord, He will turn it for good for me.
(4) The Lord will grant prosperity to those who fear, obey and do righteousness accordingly to what He has set apart for us...
(5) What is important and reali is meaningful is not how much you have in this life...in this world. It is not the cars that you drive, the houses that you live in...the amount of cash you have in your bank...the position and power you have in your company....or how pretty you are...
It is how much God has used you in this world that is meaningful...that is lasting...that is worth seeking after....
The lives that you have impacted on. The fragrance that you have left in the places that you have been to...the way how ppl see you differently from the rest. NOT based on performance..but the inner character, attitude, INTEGRITY & Godliness.
(6) Until God calls you...to leave where you are at..make sure, you have left the place BETTER than you have found it.

God...thank you for using pastor Julie to speak to me today...to convict me..together with Pastor eugene sermon.

I want to be a good cell leader.
I want to be a good walton Manager.
I want to be a good daughter.
I want to be a good Sister-in-Christ.
I want to be a good girlfrd or wife.
I want to be a good steward of Christ.
I want to be a good marketplace minster to my clients.

With Jesus' Strength and Might. For He is my true sufficiency that i will draw strength from....

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
2:26 AM

Thursday, January 24, 2008//

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
8:22 AM

i miss basketball. i miss my IHG days...
//

i cannot take it...
i was looking through suddenly the Temasek Hall IHG photos...

only to realise..

i miss my sportsman days so much.
i miss my trainings.
i miss my sweating and running.
i miss my injuries.
i miss my quarrels with my teammates over strategies.
i miss our kao-pe-ing about our coach and the bitchy-ness of everything.

i miss hockey.

most importantly i reali miss bball a lot...

it's ironic why i suddenly sms zenia 4days back to ask if she is gog to play bball...cos i reali miss.

bball has accompany me in my life for the past 10yrs.
it has a very special meaning to me.

i could still vivdly remember the familiarity as i stand at the bball court.
holding the ball in my hands. and always wearing my trademark jersey number 8.

Jesus.

I miss my days...

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
8:16 AM

Walton's DND....
//

tml night is my walton's DND!
decided to take a break today and go shopping for my DND dress!

Went to Wista Daniel Yam...
spend about $250! on my princess dress & my high heel shoes...
LOVE IT!

i am eyeing another dress....very prettyy...BUT, gotta wait until i have accomplished my GOAL 1st...then i will go and buy!!

Anyway, tml i am gog to meet jiali and huiwen 1st at vivocity for a discussion.. :(

then gog to meet Pat & Dora at Clementi MRT to go her house to dress-up etc...

GOSH!

God has reali moulded me painfully these past 2-3mths.
I have cried buckets of tears..i have met miss.gan & pastor for a significant number of times...
I have been rejected till i feel i have no turning back.

I have been tremendously attacked in my area of performance-significance aspect of my life...

Gosh, Lord, can you grant me some breakthrough and some smoother sailing journey of my life right now?

So what can i say? So what can i do?

Lord...

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
5:42 AM

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
5:39 AM

Wednesday, January 23, 2008//

Jesus...All i live to do...is to love You my God...

When you cant see the fruits from the trees, do not be discouraged..
cos the Roots are growing deep, & soon the tree will be overwhelmed with the vast amt of fruits...

"when you cant see God's hands at work, Trust His heart."

UTTERLY DISAPPOINTED.

P.R.A.Y-ers is the best form of weapon to erase the disappointments, loss-ness, defeatedness, inadequacies & randomless in life...

UTTERLY LOST.

UTTERLY AT THE END OF THE ROAD.

UTTERLY SURRENDERED TO GOD COS' IVE BEEN TREMENDOUSLY DEFEATED.

YES...i am not God afterall...

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
5:24 PM

Tuesday, January 22, 2008//

2008/01/21

Life Is At Work In You
by Jon Walker

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you. (2 Corinthians 4:8-12, NIV)

======= ===== ====

We are jars of clay, chipped and blemished, fragile by God’s design in order to show the glorious light of God shining through our cracks and crevices. People should look at us and say, “What’s this? That plain jar of clay isn’t creating such a glorious light; it must be the light of heaven contained within. The peace and joy and love I see in that light must be from God.”

And so our older brother Paul says we can rest assured that our hardships are not meant to defeat us. God is still at work in our lives, even if we’re unable to see his hand at work.

We may be hard pressed, yet our hope in God keeps us from being crushed; perplexed, yet our hope in God keeps us from despair; persecuted, yet our hope in God tells us we’re not abandoned; struck down, yet our God keeps us from being destroyed. We are at the crossroads where the street called “When You Can’t See God’s Hand” intersects with the avenue of “Then Trust God’s Heart.”

And God says his heart is not to hurt us, but to help us as we journey back to heavenly wholeness with him. His good plan for us doesn’t mean we won’t be hard pressed, perplexed, persecuted, or struck down. It means we can remain filled with hope, even as we pick ourselves up off the ground.

God’s plan is that every time we face these hardships, we learn to trust God a little bit more, so that every time the hardships press in, we can be a little stronger. God is our strength, not our own ability to carry the weight.

God doesn’t ask us to “work up” this hope – pretending we’re joyful when our whole world is collapsing around us. Rather, our hardships allow the Holy Spirit to work within us, developing joy and peace – teaching us to stop trusting in our own understanding and instead to trust that God is at work within and around our lives.

Paul encourages us to press on toward Christ-likeness. In order to be like Jesus, however, we must be men and women acquainted with sorrow, just like Lord Jesus, who hard pressed, perplexed, persecuted, and struck down, only to rise again.

In him we place our hope, and it is a hope that will not disappoint.

What does this mean?

· See your problems as leading you to be more like Jesus – Ask God to help you see how your problems are helping you grow toward Christ-likeness. Ask God to show you how your hardships are working for you and not against you. Ask him to help you embrace a peace that passes all understanding.

· Skip the ‘try harder’ mentality – The Christian walk is difficult enough without beating ourselves up about the need to “try harder.” Rest in Christ and allow him to give you peace, even as you face hardship. Your ability to “try harder” pales in comparison to Jesus’ ability to be your strength in the midst of trouble. By this, you will discover that God is strongest in your moments of weakness.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
10:19 PM

My dear darling.
Monday, January 21, 2008//

dearest Tian-Xin...

what has happened to you?
I believe God must be doing a great work in you..jus like what He is doing within me right now.

Before the light appears, i believe the Tunnel will always be the darkest...

Hang on dere.
God is faithful & He will be faithful.
He will never put us through anything tat is too much for us to handle...

Press on there k?
We will go through TOGETHER in this journey NO MATTER how tough it is and how much buckets of tears we cried!

Anytime you need a listening ear or need someone to be with, can always give me a call!
I will be there as much as i can, no worries :)

God doesnt disappoint.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
7:11 AM

Sunday, January 20, 2008//

i cried.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
4:43 PM

Pastor Melvyn says...
//

'Lord, i stand up here not because i have to say something, but because i have something to say...'

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
7:17 AM

my sat night...
Saturday, January 19, 2008//

I am freaking tired.
Met up with my Tian-Xin from 11pm to 230am yday night!!
Dating at Starbucks at compass point....

Tks for the night babe!
At least, i managed to trash my entire journey of stress, frustration, anxiety etc etc with you!

Tks for sharing with you this journey of yours!
HAHAHA, getting to know you much much much better now....si-ri-us.... (serious)

Maybe someday, both of us should like a leave off & flyyyyyy overseas!
Cheap one la....haha...short one....la....
To get out of the pace of the World in our life right now....

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
3:49 PM

Harlow ZIMING!
Thursday, January 17, 2008//

ZIMING!
not sure if you have visit my blog?
haha, but just wanan say "I MISS YOU!!"
or rather..HMMM, i miss your coaching??
haha, better not mis-led you!

To be frank, i am still thinking, perhaps after 6mths, i should just jump over to HSR to be under you.

Cos, i truly believe you are a very very good personal coach & Trainer & i reali mean it!

Let's catch up more for supper in the future ya?
All the best!

Say HI to your brother for me too :)

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
9:07 AM

My real Estate Blog.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008//

http://stewardofchristinrealestate.blogspot.com/

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
9:58 AM

Dear Jesus..
//

Dear Jesus,

This week has been a tough week for me.
Lots of DOWN DOWN DOWN & challenges i've encountered.
But, 1 thing that has happened has lightened my heart.

My self-worth, acceptance & significance has been repeatedly tested, challenged & broken these period in my life.
My strive for achievements & accomplishments has been torturing.
I no longer find JOY in wat i've excelled.

Lord, thank you for the Word today.
perhaps, i have seriously clinched and grasped too tightly to my success & achievement in life that i have forgotten about you, the Giver of my life.
Not that i have forgotten you.
But Lord, i have kind of "gently" put you aside, in a corner of my heart.
Lord, Father. You should deserve to be seated in the central location of my heart.

Would i chose all the successes in my life: Career, Financial Freedom, Relationships with the world, Fame & Popularity over You? Your kingdom? Your Purpose for me?

The perfect answer will definitely be the Latter.
BUT, Sapphire...SApphire...SApphire...are you sure you can fight against all these real temptations?

Lord, i am weak. I am nothing.
But Your Grace is more than sufficient for me & Your power is made perfect in my weakness.

All i count as Gain...You count as loss...

Jesus, help me to let go & to let You.
Lord, grant me successes & excellence in all that i do.
Let me worship you with my life testimony. with my career. with my life stories. with my life with the ppl i've touched & come into contact with.

You be the author of my life chapter...

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
9:47 AM

I love this song...

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
7:13 AM

Tuesday, January 15, 2008//

I am freaking tired.

Tired freaking I am....

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
6:31 AM

Tian Xin!! Let's go for movie :)
Monday, January 14, 2008//

Enchanted l Carrie Underwood Music Video "Ever Ever After"
Uploaded by EnchantedMovie

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
9:24 AM

He says..."Everything I do...i do it for you...."
//

Faith Hill & Brandy - Everything I Do
Uploaded by hakim93200

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
9:15 AM

He says..."Everything I do...i do it for you...."
//

Vdeo - Celine Dion & Bryan Adams -
Uploaded by punisher2409

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
9:15 AM

Christophe Willem - Jacques a dit
Uploaded by Alcaccia

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
9:12 AM

How does this song sounds to you?
//

when i was so lost today...God showed me directions.
I got 1 exclusive listing from Regentville today.
I got 1 unit investment from my investor from KEPPELFELS today.
I recruited 1 consultant (process engr) in walton international Today too.

I called up Dora, to ask if she wants to team-up together with me in DTZ.

Today has been a busy busy tiring tiring day for me.
I was shocked to see my Tian-Xin & Granny Gan at J8 during my appt in the evening.

Today has been different.
Today, i felt reali reali lost & defeated kind of in spirit.
I felt reali reali insecured.

So, i pressed on in prayers. In every situation that i encountered today.
Instead of flaring up in tempers, or cried in depression or even to give up in dismay.
God has granted me strength to face my day with confidence that He is in control.
God has reminded me repeatedly my purpose in life as a steward.
God has tried to show love to me in a more action way.
From morning to Night. Appointments after appointments i rushed through.
And everything has been smooth sailing, timing packed back to back & He brings me through.

O Lord....
You always remind me of JOB whenever i am in a dry dessert.
JOB when he was left with nothing, pressed on in this Race & still chose to worship & praise you....
Still is convicted that You are a good Lord.

Jesus.
How faith-less & how weak You must have thought of me...
Yes, Faith i am, that's wat i called myself.
Your Grace is more than sufficient for me..
& Your power is made perfect in my weakness..
And You will never put me through any tests that is too much for me to handle..

o Lord. Change my heart Condition.
Make me sensitive to the Holy Spirit.
Grant me victory in every area of my life.

I have no idea, what this man is singing...
but i just feel very personalised...
feel as if, it's my heartbeat.
Painful Melody....yet, with Hope & with Cry to Your Rescue.
It seems to be a song to call back the lost & the strayed.

Does it sound the same melody to you?
Does it sound very melancholic?
Does it sound very heart-breaking?
Does it sound as if you are at the verge of giving up?

Dont...press on. For God is there.
Call upon His name & be saved...

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
8:58 AM

Christophe Willem en accoustique
Uploaded by Hakunamatata67

GOSH, i love this man.
awwwww......
totally melt my heart!
I love musical ppl...

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
8:51 AM

Sunday, January 13, 2008//

A question was popped up today to my ultimate shockness.

But, To tell you, i am seriously seriously very thankful to hear it personally from you, without me popping the question to you.

I was elated totally even though i ALSO sound very calm & steady like you. over the msn. Haha.

I believe, God will use me in your life.
And He will build me, and build you through me.

I thank God.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
8:35 AM

I have called myself

FAITH ONG YY

in my new DTZ Property Estate Name Card.

Faith has a very special meaning to me.
& i have decided to call myself Faith, to constantly remind myself...

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
7:08 AM

RiFat.
Saturday, January 12, 2008//

Some ppl might think i am crazy.
But i am not.
I am totally in a depressed spirit right now & i was jus blog surfing etc...
And i came across this little boy... whom i met during the NYC camp..
Whom never failed to impress me, to inspire me...

A individual with character. Knowing what He wants.
With attitude & leadership qualities.
With accepting and forgiving heart.
To love and to be loved.

Someone very different whom God has placed in my heart.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
6:24 AM

1st Jan ECP
//

Thanks Crystal for persisting to invite me to the BBQ :)
Had a great time with your girls..& darlings.
Looking towards more outing with the gangs.
HAHA, esp with your Ms.Vivien. She is reali Classic.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
6:12 AM

Who am I?
//

okies. I am tired.
Sapphire is reali tired.
I need to find my rest in the Lord.

Today, I went to PLMGS for my Volunteering under National Youth Council & Touch Community Service under my church FCBC.

We had good heart-to-heart & thrashing session.
What i reali brought away from tis meeting was:
(1) I am fierce.
(2) I am very scary.
(3) I am too serious.
(4) I dont smile much.
(5) I reject ppl too much.

Gosh, to be frank, it was a little painful, esp for someone like me.
I've always have an issue with rejection. Definitely, i felt rejected too. But nonetheless, I was pretty ok with this self-awareness part. B'cos I understand I am in a different phase of life too...

To be frank, anyone who reali knows me will know that I am NOT like this by nature.
I am just very driven, focus & task orientated.
When Things need to get done, I make sure, no time is wasted & I will get the most things done. Effectiveness.

Hence, with this Working attitude, No doubt, along the way, ppl may feel that i am very serious & perhaps hmmm. Expectations way too high?

I have no idea.
But i was kindda sad, cos after 2mths, I just realised, no relationships were built almost at all. And I have failed my Life Mission.
Perhaps, until God truly transformed me then this transformation will be manifested from the inside out....

Gosh. Sometimes, Sapphire indeed think too highly of myself.

So, after that I went to meet my Frd to do something else...
I have no idea, but after this whole 330pm to 510pm thing... I suddenly feel like crying...I am feeling a little secured, loss & demoralised.

Suddenly, I felt too much overwhelmed.
My self-esteem heavily made broken.
Suddenly, I feel like I am a loser.
I am nobody. I have nothing.

Suddenly, I do not know which area of this World does Sapphire belongs to....
Does God even have a Plan for me?

Of cos, I know God has.
But this conviction is seriously from my Mind more than my Heart...
Intellectual I am.

I wish... I can fly away & never come back...
and Yes..I also remembered Crystal told me once before when everytime i made this sentence...
she said, "Run to God's heart. & never be back."

O U C h.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
5:24 AM

LATEST LISTING!
Thursday, January 10, 2008//

(1) Tropical Spring - Simei
Asking: $1million.
1378 sqft (3rms)
$3700/mth rental left 11mths.
99yr. Nice Reno.

(2) Yishun Emerald - Yishun
Asking: $620,000.
1206sqft (3rms)
99yr.
$2000/mth rental left 11mths.

(3) Hougang Regentville
Asking: $630,000
1152sqft
99yr. 3rms.

Asking: $540,000
980sqft
99yr. 2rms.

(4)Yishun Northwood
Asking: 1.4million (neg)
TOP: 2010, deferrment allowed. FH.
Penthouse & Best stack
Panaromic View

(5) Garden Vista Bukit Timah
1142sqft (4rms)
Very nice reno.
High Floor. 99yr.
$4300/mth rental left 1.5yrs.
Valuation: 1.5million
Asking: 1.4million

(6) Compass Point - SengKang
Nice reno & high floor
99yr. 1525sqft.
$2000/mth rental left 1 yr.
Asking: $950million.

(7) CairnHill Plaza
High floor. FH. 2293 sqft. $300k renovated.
Asking: $1750 psf.

(8) Soleil @ Sinaran
B3 type with 2 bedrms
958sqft. high Floor.
Asking: $1650 psf

(9)Haig Road
2.5 storey, Semi-D
Modern Design almost New.FH.
A & A about 3-4yrs
2.4million valuation.
Asking: 2.2million
Built In: 3100sqft
Land: 2441sqft
Serene Ambience, 5+1 BR

(10) Haig Road, Katong
Corner terrace, 3storey
Asking: 1.8million
Ensuite 4rms all with attached toilets
Modern Design. 1.5mths old.
1900++sqft. FH.

(11) Sembawang Goodlink Park
FH, 3-storey (4+1bedroom)
3200sqft
Dry & Wet Kitchen
1.68million (neg)

(12) Jalan Redop (YCK)
Brandnew 999yr.
5+1rooms, all with attached bathrooms.
Inter terrace: 1800/3300
Corner terrace: 2500/3300
Asking: 1.8-2million

(13)The Taipan ( Jalan Hajijah East Coast)
Penthouse with Roof Terrace (2+1+1)
Asking: 1.15million
Master room with roof terrace complete with terrace jacuzzi, common room _ study outdoor alfresco dining
2Bedrooms
1593sqft. 3yr old. FH

(14) Cashlew Hills At upper Bukit Timah
Asking: 2.4million
Valuation: 2.2million
999yr, BrandNew.
land: 1840sqft
Built in: 3844sqft
4storey (5+2 rooms)
Corner Terrace

(15) Tanjiong Katong Butterworth 8 Condo
high floor
price Neg.

(16)Makena Vesta @ meyers road
CONDO
Asking: 2.28million
high floor , FH, 1658sqft
10yr old condo, newly renovated 1+yr ago, EMPTY house now. Owner has moved out.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
6:31 PM

what does your heart beat for.....?

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
6:29 PM

It is good to carry a Bible in a purse or briefcase, but the best place to hide the Word of God is in our hearts.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
6:29 PM

confused confusion.
Wednesday, January 02, 2008//

I pray that You will help me to go through this together.
I pray that You will give me support, help & favour along the way.
I pray that You will give me my daily bread & my providence.
And that Your hands will be with me.

You are the Lord of Abundance.
You are the Lord of Covenant.
You are the Lord of all Creations.
You are the Lord of Discipline.
You are the Lord of Compassion.
You are the Lord of Wisdom.
You are the Lord for all that I need.

So Lord, I need clear, clear directions from You.
Lord, I need You to teach me about Discernment.
Lord, i need You to teach me to run away from temptations, secular temptations.
Lord, i need You to help me to know what I want is what You want. & grant me the ability to walk with You along side by side with You.

I have so much to pray, that I do not know why to start. Shall I pray in Tongues?
It's ironic that I have the Lord of Peace in me, and yet, I have no Peace.
But, how can that be?
For the Lord, is the Lord of Peace.

I surrender all to Thee....

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
5:56 PM

i love the little Kid.....
Tuesday, January 01, 2008//

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
7:52 AM

My fav FCBC TCS artist!! Jenny & my "tian xin!!!"
//

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
7:43 AM