a different game. a different me.
Friday, December 30, 2005//

alright.
my hockey and bball juniors think that i am:
(a)crooked
(b)fierce
(c)nv smilez much
(d)dao
(e)shuai4

HAHA...my God...siao lei man!
sad, no need to sleep liao...no wonder i insomnia.


Sapphire loves hockey so much.
it jus feels so different from bball.
the team mates is different.
totally different culture.

its just different.
sigh...if only i played hockey since young :)

but its okie!
i dun regret playing and picking up bball as much, cos i definitely gained a lot from that too.

but everytime when i am on the pitch, i reali feel so diff....so much happier than on the bball court.

the encouragement and support etc etc is reali so diff.
izzit just the hockey culture?
i dun know.
no idea.

but glad that in my yr 3 and 4, i played hockey :)
though this year, i will be playing quite little as a sub most pro!cos this yr team is SIBEI strong man! :)
HAHA
but good! i want a gold medal for hockey! :)

sad...after graduate then no chance le...sigh.
good things never last long....why....?


--AbsoluteSApphire8--
12:39 AM




its tiring to "Play by the Rules"
Thursday, December 29, 2005//
A devotion that i read from the internet.

*************************************************************************************
Playing by the Rules

"Remember that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize. You also must run in such a way that you will win."

— 1 Corinthians 9:24


If you participate in an athletic event, you must play by the rules. You can't make your own. You can't say, "If I hit the ball eight feet, then that is a home run. These are my rules." That is not the way it works. You must play by the rules. Even if you hit the ball out of the park, you still must cross and touch every single base. If you miss one base, that home run doesn't count, and you are disqualified.

For example, if you want to compete in track and field in the Olympics, then you must play by the rules. One rule is that athletes are prohibited from using drugs like steroids to enhance their performance. We remember the 1988 Olympic games in which Carl Lewis won the gold medal because Ben Johnson was disqualified for steroid use. Johnson didn't play by the rules.

In the same way, this race of life we are running has a rulebook. It is called the Bible. It is not for us to pick and choose what parts of the Bible we like. You can't say, "I like certain truths in the Bible. I like the part about God's love and forgiveness. But this part about denying yourself and taking up the cross . . . that must not be in the original language. I don't believe it." You can't do that. If you are going to run this race, and run to win, then you must play the rules that God has given to you in Scripture. We must play by the rules, or we will be disqualified.

*************************************************************************************

how true, i am definitely best at filtering the bible verses.
selectively choses those that i like.
ignoring those that doesnt seem too good.

HAHA.
sigh.


--AbsoluteSApphire8--
12:15 AM




dont be a Bitch.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005//
life is all about choices.
u chose to believe, to doubt, to reciprocate or to ignore.
if you have experience ONE good thing in your life, even if there are like tonnz and millionz of unpleasant things around, should you start pointing fingers and blame God?
so what if there are not even ONE good thing in your life, do you still give thanks?

if you chose to give thanks. perhaps, it started uneasy and difficult...somehow words of thanksgiving dont come out of out golden mouth so easily.
but ONCE you get passed that stage, when the engine gets warmed up.
somehow, you know that there are still so many BLESSED things that you can give thanks too.

thats what happened to me this morning.

"what we want and what He knows is best for us are two very different things
hence when we hope in Him, it means we have joyful certainty that He has planned the best for us. nothing is too great in this world that shld rob us of our joy in the Lord ya!"


so this morning, i chose to give thanks for EVERYTHING thats in my life now.
not sure if i reali named them out ONE BY ONE without missing any..
but then, after giving thanks, i do feel a little better.

life is a choice.

though i curse and swear and doubt and etc etc, ultimately i know that i still chose to believe in Him, to believe in His goodness.

though, sometimes, its onli half-heartedly.
or rather, sometimes, the non-chalent attitude to jus shut up, stop reasoning, stop thinking and trust God. (also another reason: my laziness to think and reflect)
This way to trust God can do a little of good as well hur.
hur? yes la!

deliberately choosing a life to Trust God.

i am not God, and i dun want to play God.
He is my Planner. Not me.
i might be a HIGH C, a perfectionist, a rational freak.
but without God, i am jus like michael jordan without basketball.


--AbsoluteSApphire8--
8:27 AM




xmas in church! :)
//





hey zhihong! nice mural painting worz! :)
pai sei ah!
nv help out AT ALL in this beautiful masterpiece...
zheng de shi tai dui bu qi ni le! :D


--AbsoluteSApphire8--
8:02 AM




His present for me this year xmas.
Monday, December 26, 2005//
supposed to wear red for church service yday...then realise! SHIT! haha....all my red/pink clothes are allllllllllll in hall.
opppsssss, so i went to bishan junction 8 hoping to find a nice red top. TOO BAD, couldnt locate any nice red tops. in fact, there are hardly any red top around in the shops lor...*hmmmmmm*

on the bus to J8, i decided to take out my bible and read, cos i realli too long never read liao le...

i was reading Romans 5
"but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribution produces perseverence; and perseverence, character; and character, hope.

Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

after reading, i was thinking....why izzit that "hope doesnt disappoint"??
at that moment in the bus, i was thinking...
so do i hope that my brother will not quit school so that he will have a good future?
or do i hope that my brother will have a good future irregardless of whether he quits school or not?

no answer.

then after service, qy prayed for us and she said that God told her that His prezzie for me this year is "Hope".

hmmmm, interesting.
frankly saying, i do not think that it's a conicidence.
frankly saying, i reali have a lot of "hopesssss" that is not fulfiled in my self.
there are like thousands and millions of things that i hope.
but then once again, God is not a santa claus.

went to watch the chinese MOL with my family.
was very pissed and turned off esp by my brother.
sorry, but then i jus dun feel like saying here in my blog.
i rather "talk" than "type".

God's presence was very real during MOL. i cried. quite a lot actually..haha, not sure if my family saw :)
but luckily the hall was DARK enuff! heng ahhhhh~~~

towards the end of the MOL, i remembered pastor being the father said that "i would give you anything you like."

when i heard that, i was asking God...."reali?"
hmmmm....i was doubtful. definitely. even till now.

still have no answer why "hope doesnt disappoint?"
cos i seriously got disappointed for like a DONKEY timessss in my life.
there are many things tat i hope and wish in my life, but God doesnt seem to answer them?

hmmm, alright i knoe.
sometimes things are simply beyond our human understanding.
but this cannot be an excuse to "convince" ourselves each time when things dun go accordingly to our ways.
we are human. we want control. we need to know that we are in control.
even if we are not able to control the situation, at least let us know whats happening. whats going to happen. and please..the reason too.

Sapphire is a rational feak.
give me a reason to my "WHYs".


--AbsoluteSApphire8--
12:41 PM




XMAS - it's all about EATING. EATING and eating....!!!!
Friday, December 23, 2005//










HAHA...mindy!
i bet THIS is your greatest night mare! :)


--AbsoluteSApphire8--
7:39 PM





//




why are we always meeting at swensen!?!?!
lucky cheryl got my lovelyyyyyyy prezzie...ALRIGHT! the wrapping is from CANDICE ZHU YANLI... *rolllll eyes!*
2 horny girls...eh..no, 1 horny girl and 1 horny BITCH!
haha...opsss...needless to say, yes...you are the one..yes....YOU are the one! :)
HAHA!


--AbsoluteSApphire8--
7:38 PM




end of the road? ----> ||||||||
Thursday, December 22, 2005//
alright.
my brother told me he went to SP in the afternoon to take the withdrawal form for school.
he told me he was totally turned off when the lecturer was telling the students about their fyp.
for the past 1.5 yrs, i also dun know how many BUCKETS of tears have i cried for him le...
sigh.
surprising, this time, i wasnt totally affected or sad.
definitely, i was feeling disappointed and exasperated. and i asked God too. why THIS happen again???

i called my friend, lily last week.
she told me her nyjc frd quited NTU ME in year 2 and went to SIM to study biz.

i know cases like zenia's brother, who quited school to go NS too.

sigh......my brother. SIGH.
he wants to go to NS, and see what he wanna so after ORD.
either sign on (which he is totally soooooooo excited over and I DUN KNOW WHY!) or work or else continue to study.

as a sister, i jus feel. w.a.s.t.e.d.
1.5 years more or rather 2 more sems, then he can graduate with a diploma.

sigh. huiyi, jus like what i told you on sunday.
i guess i jus gotta let go.
let him do what he wants.
even if he will end up regreting in the future, but if it makes him grow...it is worth it??!!! worth it?

*WADEVER*

we are like totally SO different.
haha...maybe i am jus an extinct near to perfectionist fellow.
while my stupid brother, he is jus an endangered happy go lucky loser....! haha... :)

jus kidding!
but seriously, i dun know why, but i wasnt like SO SO SO worried this time round.
i jus wanma believe that GOD is never limited by man's mistake.
even if my brother took a wrong step, HE the navigator will still provide the "current-breaker" to sail against the uprising waves.

jus like "cast-away".


--AbsoluteSApphire8--
7:10 PM




siao diaozzz 1/2
//
SIGH!
once again....
SAPPHIRE IS INJURED!
wow lao eh.....
dun know what's wrong with my thign.
run slow also pain....HOW TO CHASE BALL LIKE THAT!
when i am reaching my peak, then here it comes again....
sigh.
canot take it.
sucks.

and ya, got my results yday, SUCKS too.
luckily there's a niceeeeeeeeeeeeeee dinner yday night!
:) compensate for my bad day yday!


tonight, going out with my zhss bballers at suntec!
wonder what food we will be eating mah....


sigh...GOD, pleaseeeeee heal my thign.
i want to run. i want to shoot. i want to play bball.
its my last yr. please dun disappoint me....


--AbsoluteSApphire8--
2:00 PM




OMIGOSH~!
Monday, December 19, 2005//
*************************************************************************************
Hi YanYing

I hope you are having a chance to relax after all your final exams and projects.

I don't know what your plans are for the week before Christmas... but, I know you had mentioned that you had been a Buddhist before, so I was wondering if your family might not be Christians, so you might not have experienced family-type Christmas activities. And one of the most wonderful memories we have of Christmas is singing Christmas carols at home with family. Singing Christmas carols is a tradition in our home, and, even though we don't always stay on tune, we enjoy the time together

So, as we are far from our biological family, we have decided to invite a few of Dan's former graduate students to join us at our home on the evening of Tuesday, December 20 for dinner and to sing Christmas carols. Some are Christians. And some are not Christians, who are just interested in coming along to sing a bit and be together.

Would you be interested in joining us? This would be a small gathering (under 20 people total), so, if you would feel more comfortable coming with a friend or two, they would be welcome as well. Just please let me know if you can come, so we can make sure to have food and chairs!

If you are interested:

Where: McAllister's house--109 Clementi Rd, Blk E, #05-02, Kent Vale Apartments (Kent Vale is the end of the B Bus Route).

When: Tuesday, December 20, 6:30 pm

Please do let me know if you can come, so we can plan accordingly.

Merry Christmas!

Blessings

Mavis McAllister
*************************************************************************************


so cool! haha...my MNO tutor actually invited me to her hosue! :)
decided to ask weiling to pei me to go... :)
we can go together after basketball...HAHA!
lovely...unless weiling dun wanna go..haha, then maybe i not gog too le...feel weird going alone :)

COOL! i think all my very nice tutors are all ANG MOs...haha :)
Mr. Macdonalds and Ms.Mcallister ....oh...there's link...there's a "M"


--AbsoluteSApphire8--
12:27 PM




my favourite pastors!!! so happy to take photo with them! :) :) :)
Tuesday, December 13, 2005//


--AbsoluteSApphire8--
11:41 AM




the ten year series answer booklet.
Monday, December 05, 2005//
finally back in hall once again after sat!
today got hockey and bball training...looking forward and yet scared.
too long never exercise and play and train le.
i guess tonight i will die a horrible way.

today, will be my first day of discipline!
to read and do my final year proj stuff and also to read His word.
Sapphire is simply too ill discipline liao.
jus keep sleeping, eating, watching tv and going out.

procrastinating is just a nicer way to say "i dun want to do it. yet. when? i dun know. perhaps tomroz ba."

this sat afternoon will be gog for the hall 6 game at NTU, then in the evening will be gog for the BIG move Run with huiyi...hope it will be a refreshing, inspiring and meaningful run.
then sunday....the first i will enter into Max Pavilion for my sunday service! :)
excited....but then wonder how can i go to that place?
hmm...shall start planning on sat night bah! :)

yday night, i sent an email to pastor. cos ps asked those who wants to serve to email her after the SL training project.
actually, i wanted to email her on sat night, but was too tired...
so was thinking, take some time to consider first also bah...
dun want to "yi shi chong dong"
but then i told her yday in the email that i want to help out in her proj.
serious speaking, i do not know if i am reali reali ready nor prepared to errr...step out of my comfort zone?
i do not know if i want to do it. but then i know that i need to do it.
so since i need to do it someday and instead of waiting for the right time.. (which i seriously doesnt know)
was thinking, might as well jus do the right thing. perhaps that will make it the right time.
:)
jus hope things will go smoothly bah...
cos last semester le. gonna be very stressed and busy with my final yr proj also.
but then, i think its time for me to do some challenging stuff le ba...

SL training was good.
very enriching and enlightening. HAHA :)
was an enjoyable process with the ppl there and also managed to know a few ppl much better.

yday, had a little msn chat with zhimin the punk doctor...
haha...something that she said struck me.
"sometimes you think too much that you forget to live."

interesting.
to me thats what i mean by being too rational will often times make you miss out all the fun out there.
yet at the same time, this statement's validity depends on the things that are worth living in your life.

if rules and controlled thoughts and obedience will lead you to the type of life you want to have, even if you forget to live, i guess at the end of the day, you will still be very much happy about it.

but at the same time, living by making the best of each day sometimes does require us to just stop thinking. stop rationaling. stop reasoning. stop finding excuses. stop refusing to step out of comfort zone etc etc too.

so all in all...HAHA. no conclusion.
jus tot it's an interesting statement that's worth my "thinking" again.

alright....shall start on my conference and research journal articles now le...
HELP AHHHHH... *yawn.....*


--AbsoluteSApphire8--
4:55 PM




....:::: Kwon Sang Woo ::::....
Thursday, December 01, 2005//



--AbsoluteSApphire8--
12:40 AM


SApphire's Inner World
___________________

THIS IS MY STORY... hmmm...a Virgo, a High C individual...Helper, AChiever & Loyalist. lots of expectation for myself..perhaps also for the ppl around me. dun like to face failure and disappointment, but i am definitely learning. a Passive person, but as long as i appreciate the person, i will take the first step and get out of my comfort zone. the Language of my love for the person that i cherish will be time. the greater the time and effort spend on the person, the more important the person is to me in my life. A stubborn, hot tempered, emotional, pessimistic gal.Loner. "Anti-social" tagged by most people if you judge me by the first impression =) i graduated in NUS as a mechanical engineer. i tried working in STMicroelectronics as a process engineer. but found that this is somethg that i dun reali enjoy. because i know God has created me differently. He has made me with a passion to be with ppl. He has gave me a gift to make frds and minister to ppl. He has gave me a unique ability to make sincere relationship. bcos Christ reigns in me. so after becoming a engineer for a while, i quited and i am currently working in Walton international Grp(S) PTE LTD as a landbanker now. it's a career that i reali enjoy bcos i get to meet all walks of ppl in my life. i get to help ppl to better invest in a correct way. to analyse together with my cients the oppt and not jus to do hard selling. cos i dun believe in that. i like to share. Not only so, I am also Volunteering under Touch Community Service in my Church, Volunteering in NYC as well as Sunday school :) right now, my only Wish is to become even closer with Christ in this beauty journey of my Life. i am a full time Christian & only a part time daughter, frd, landbanker, sportsman etc... Lord, everything i have belongs to You... drop me an email: yanying8@singnet.com.sg or 97545658 (Walton) or 90997000 (DTZ)

SApphire's Favourites
___________________


To have Harmony & Peace. DayDreaming, Eating, Sleeping, Exercising, Catching up with peeps, Reading, Shopping, having LOTSSS of $$$, Travelling, meeting new ppl everyday :) I love Real Estate. most importantly, to be in the presence of God!

Precious Words
___________________



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