the world is evolving around the WORLD issue.
Monday, October 31, 2005//

it was a cool outing on sunday. from TC we went to EXPO then back to TC again. hmmmmm.....been pretty long since i last went on a "excursion" trip le man....haha...missed those days when i took bus to some wulu country...though i keep bitching and kaopeing about the journey, the jerkyness, the toilet breaks etc...
but ultimately i know tat i still kindda enjoy it to some extend =)
haha...and its the company that matters too!!!

hmm...these few days, had some talk with some ppl. sighhhhh....everyone is seeking for the worldly stuff. i bitched about how wrong it is and then i look at myself...*shake head shake head*

i wish i could open up to some people. i wish some important relationships in my life can jus "bloom" like that in His hands...ha...but then nope!
relationship takes time! takes self-disclosure! takes effort! takes initiative!
but then i still thank God that this year gotta stay with weiling and ver! =)
its lovely how God can use them to bring me comfort, being me destress, bring me support, 38ness....haha!
its lovely how i can see this relationship is developing.
God is good! He always is.

hmmmm...been quite some time since i last saw and tok to qiaoyun le!
ha...kindda miss her.
love her presence, love who she is, love the way God made her the way she is...haha...and love the way she "lor soh" about me!
haha....actually i gave her my blog also. but i know. the VERYYYY NOT IT SAVY HER will definitely NOT come online and check mail, msn, read stuff etc de...
haha, she will RATHER sleep and fantasize about her "chengjun" ge!
to re-watch her "staircase to heavennnn"
YAWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!

saw angel and sharon on sun too!
SO LONG NEVER SEE THEM LE LA!
haha...everytime i see sharon, will always remind me of the retreat camp! =)
haha....hope there will be more camps in the future ba! if got some getaway to some quiet and wulu pandang place will be good too! jus us and God and the sea and sky! yeah! and my favourite, moon and stars too! =)
hmm...and mission trip too! wanan experience too..haha...though *roll eyesssss* i doubt i am a mission person...so "jie pi", how to go those place.....!!!

headache!! stressed!
slacked for an hour le...sigh..okie.
stop blogging, back to my "!@#$%^&*(*&^%$" work now!
HELP LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
want to faint le~~


--AbsoluteSApphire8--
8:54 PM




explodingggg!!!!
Wednesday, October 26, 2005//

@#$%^&*&^%$#$%^!!!
help la God....sigh. cannot take it!
Not body can help me except you!
You know what's happening, you know what's troubling me!
sighhhhhhhh! HELP ME MAn!!!

take them away. take it away.
let the wind blow it away...to the moon and never be back!
rewind button? where is it?
if only there is, then man will not need to learn.
if only there is, man will not regret.
too bad, in life there's no rewind button.
bring to Heaven, i want to go there. Life is tough!
If you want to leave me here, please lead me in EVERYTHING.
change me pls. change me change me change me!
sigh. self acceptance....learning. still learning.
hated social comparison. hated being who i am , what i am.
sigh.
but its by the Grace of God that i am who and what i am.
sorry, but i seriously am not convicted and convinced by it.
still as sinful, still so much to change.
who can change me but You?
arghhhhhhh! God save me!


--AbsoluteSApphire8--
7:16 PM




happy 22nd biRtHdAy pInKYyyYyyyY!
Tuesday, October 25, 2005//






--AbsoluteSApphire8--
1:15 AM




~gone with the wind~
//
happy.
qiaoyun is finally quite back to herself.
had cg with her on sat...=) finally, i saw this lovely smile back on her face...though she's learning still, but i know God is good. She will be fine in His arms.
hmmm....but then qiuru isnt feeling that good.
sigh. things have been tough for her recently.
but will continue to pray for her...reali hope that she will find back the Joy in her life! to run towards Him esp during the most difficult time!
hmm.....life has been pretty good recently. though i am still preti stressed with my sch work and some stuff at home as well...
finally, today, i finalise, there's still this issue in me that's unsettled.
i told it was kinda settled already...but then...when the music played...the night came...the thoughts came...the feelings came.haha..i know...hmm...maybe it wasnt exactly and totally erased from my memory yet huh! huh! huh! huh!
WATEVER...sigh...God y?!!? haha...lets hope today when i sleep...He will speak clearly to me =)

alright....but then my God is Good! and i shall believe in just that! =)


--AbsoluteSApphire8--
12:28 AM




the POWER of prayers! the Faithfulness of God! -AMEN-
Friday, October 21, 2005//


HEY PPL! i passed my driving le! haha...sorry man, took soooooooooo damn long to update this goodest, bestest, greatest news into my blog! busy busy busy beeeeee~~~

God is good la! =)
you know why...tell me tell you a story...haha

on sat night, when i was engrossed with studying, God told me, "do you know how to use and adjust your "wiper and beam light"?? "
i was like...shit. ya hor...never reali try before, cos every time never rain.
then on sunday(the next time), when i was leaving my house for driving lesson, it started raining...so! i prayed fervently that IT WILL STOP RAINING! cos i need this last 2 lessons to polish up my skills..haha...then! indeed when i reach yck the rain was smaller...
but then jus when i was about to enter the car...it started pouring. yes. no more raining. its POURING water down from heaven..haha...DAMN HEAVY LA! raining dinosaurs and rhinocerous! haha....
i was like " BU SHI ZHE YANG SUAY ba..."

its so damn hard to see la...too blur liao le!

then on the actual day (wednesday)...many things happen. haha...
i got a not very frdly tester. super critical. not good. not good...cos God told me He will transform himself to being the tester to see beside me, to be my 1st official passenger (which means..He will let me pass!)
then err....the tester...not very "qing qie" lei..haha..not so JC like.
then i got the most difficult route out of 10 routes. by drawing lots. haha...hai zhen gou suay de!
then when i get into the car...haha...raininggggggggggggg! luckily not pouring!
but all thanks to GOD! haha..i wasnt so scared! got as compared to sunday, this is seriously nothing =)

then...when i finished the route, the tester criticise me until i was flat, rotten, defeated and prepared to take another test again...sighhh
then he asked me "how many lessons you took?","1st time?", "you know you didnt well well etc etc etc etc etc???","you know how many amber you dash across?!!?"
i was like...sigh......
i dash across 2 AMBER LIGHT = deduction of 16 pts.
haha..on top of that, i realli gonna 16 pts deduction...
then suddenly, he looked at me and say,"aiya..nvm lah, i let you pass. dun count your 2 amber light crossing. so demerit of 16pts. let you pass."
i was like...."man...this man...though super unfrdly..but then so nice to let me pass la..."
it MUST HAVE BEEB GOD! no body else man.
it's reali FAVOUR FAVOUR FAVOUR haha...like wat qy says! =)

GOD is good la!
serious man.

and after that so many things happen...a lot of good stuff...but then i too tired to type liao le...fingers very tiring..haha...
if got chance then i shall bring it up again! =)

have a great day people!

woohoooooooooo~~~ 4 MORE DAYS TO A SPECIAL DAY LE WORZ...haha... =)


--AbsoluteSApphire8--
8:42 PM




.......:::: bIg mOVe Of God....19th of Oct 2005 ::::......
Tuesday, October 18, 2005//



hey people! please pray for me! haha...i am having my driving test on 19th of oct at 430pm!
reali hope that God will help me to pass this crucial test in my life.
thanks!


--AbsoluteSApphire8--
9:00 AM




^ 4 years in engin. FINALE ^
Thursday, October 13, 2005//
last year in engin. played for my entire 4 years in IFG bball!
yes la!
today...last year. last time playing for engin. last time playing with my lovely teammates!
amy and yunen!=)
yesssss, again! we got 3rd placing!
for my entire 4 yearsss! but then thank God that we won medicine today! =)

hmmmm..........very fast man! a blink of eyes...and fwah! 4 yearssss jus passed like that!
still remembered back in year 1~
haha..so damn stressed with sch work, nearly quit school, nearly committed suicide! haha...and poor huiyi! gonna be my counsellor everything! to lend me tissue when i cry! haha..to de-stress me when i am so damn stressed! poor neighbour...

then year 1-2, huiyi start focusing allllllllllll her energy to lead me to know Him!
haha...then at the end of yr 2! YOU SUCCEEDED with God's Grace!
ever since then...life is a bed of roses... CAI GUAI!!! haha...nah! God never even promise us that we will have a comfortable life man! in fact the life of a Believer might be more tough!

year 2....got into ME...and i wonder why!
until now! then i know...haha...cos all my engin frds around me are all from FCBC too!
they have been good sisters and brothers in Christ!
especially KElly! GOd has realli used her sooo much to minister me.
though i always complain a whole lot about Engin..i know that if i am even a chance to turn back the hands of time. i will still choose back this entire same path.
cos the things that i have seen through and suffered and xperienced haf not gone to waste! =)
year 3...i got so much closer to God. esp when HUIYI FLY MY KITE AND LEAVE ME ALONE WITH QY AND YOZNET AND FCBC!! haha....
but then i know that it's realli God's Plan to take you away from me de!! haha...
huiyi, you should understand it too ya! especially when i shared with you so much for this entire 1 yr =)

year 4! which is now!and hmmm! excited to see what God has for me! how GOd is gonna use me! =)


--AbsoluteSApphire8--
12:30 AM




here i am. humbled by ur Majesty.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005//
yap. IFG. engin lost to science.
first time. i teared after losing in a ifg match.
couldnt believe it.
it was painful.
it is. my pride.
we deserve to win. we should win. we must win. everyone thinks that we confirm win.
but the ball is round. the earth is round. nothing is fixed.
sigh.
it hurts when my pride is attacked once again.
haha. i never learnt.
since that day when i made a decision not to join nyjc bball, i tot bball is a past, a sweet sweet memory that remains in me.
until i join hall and played ihg, then the love for bball slowly surfaced.
until this semester, i reali, i still love it. my first love for bball.

sighhh.
i wish i am the One Man who can do miracles on court.
i wish i am the One Man who can bring the spirit of the team up.
i wish i am the One Man who can play the ball like a MVP.
i wish.
but bball is a team sports.
i was disappointed with my team mates today. very disappointed.
then i was thinking, "am i a good teammate then? a team should be mutually and individually accountable to one another. not to point finger at them and blame them. we win as a team. fight as a team. lose as a team."
haha. easy said ya? =)
but...not easy to let it sunk itself me. how about you?

but dun worry! i am fine now le! =)
i didnt realli cry a lot, but just teared a little.
the higher the expectation, the greater the disappointment.
i tot perhaps this year, i could get a medal for ifg.
now i doubt so.
i wonder if engine can even get 3rd?!?
gonna play against medicine in the 3/4 placing.
sighhh.medicine. not easy man!
with violet and angela.
sighhh...and with my engin's performance again. i doubt we will win.
but itsssssssss okie! =)

God will make me learn. He will teach me learn by the hard way, since i am always so stubborn to learn by the soft tactics!

but generally, i am fine =)
and ya...pinky! if you are thinking of buying me some stuff to cheer me up! haha...no need la ah! =)
wo mei shi de! =)
wo hui zhen zhuo qi lai! =)
bball only mahhhhhh! failure! i will learn! haha..thats part and parcel of our lives.

but serious lah. i am realli feeling oki now le =)
jus feel like going "low profile" only. the mood for that. it's the season again! =)
haha....


--AbsoluteSApphire8--
1:38 AM




a mIraCLE from GOd~
Sunday, October 09, 2005//
8th of Oct 2005!
you know what...i've been asking my parents if they wanan go church since last yr, and they always say,"dun want la! go for wat? i very tired. need to sleep..."
i was like.."orh. ok lor."
then last year, i went for service, and saw this Hokkien special service on 8th of Oct,so i tot should invite my parents again. though they can attend the chinese service also. but since its supposed to be "special", haha..so decided to invite them to go!
SO! last sunday i invited my parents. as usual, my father said,"dun want lah. i very tired. i want to sleep." haha...so i ask him to sleep more from mon-fri , so that sat he wont be so tired. but then he didnt reply. i didnt have much hope also la. as for my mummy, she jus said, "see papa lor...if he go, then i go lor."

then on monday, our cg had a mass sms with regards to prayer requests. so i told my cg that i hope my paretns will attend the Hokkien service.

then, yesterday i came back around 1 plus. i saw my daddy, but then i dun dare to ask him...then my mother back back from her work, and i asked her to ask my daddy. at that, my daddy was sleeping le lor...
so i was like..."maybe they wont go again."

MIRACULOUSLY! when i asked my mother, she said my father says OKI!
i was like... "wow kaoz! God you are good la!!!"

so there weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee go!
haha..the pastor was super ZAi!
he's the invited pastor from malaysia, studied law. he realli speaks a lot of me and my parents. cos someone like my daddy, so stubborn, even agree on some of the things that pastor shared. with regards to christianity and other religion (buddhism in particular)
man....i was totally overwhelmed and stunned!

i know that they had a good time there. we laughed a lot. the pastor was good! =)

at the end, when pastor invited the ppl to accept christ, i got prompt my parents..
haha, then my father said,"dun want lah. i everything also believe. jesus believe. other god also believe."
haha...but at least i know that this time round, he included jesus in! =)
as for my mummy, she always has the tendency to accept christ, but she witnessed alot of miracles in church when she was young...thats why she never discouraged me from going church, instead, she is trying to pyscho my brother to follow me to church! bwahaha!

but then both of them didnt go down to recieve Christ.
but then when pastor asked those in front to raise hand, i jus stretched my hands towards them. i dun know if my parents know what it means. but then they raise their hands too. my father didnt follow the sinner prayers i think. but my mother said it!
haha..but i doubt she knows the significant of it. jus like me! tat day when huiyi brought me to fcbc. after i said the sinner's prayer, it took me about 1+ yr to realli took the step of faith. and ya! my parents bought the pastor chinese cd too! his songs are damn nice! been listening to it! =)

but i was wanan thank God!
i know that yesterday is the day when the small mustard seed of faith is planted in them!
jus wanan believe that God will bring my whole household to salvation!
pray that in the future, even as i asked to go church again...they will agree! =)

************************************************************************************
you will only know the realness of God, when you decide to take a step of Faith, to believe in Him. if you do not want to meet God, God will never force Himself on you.
if you believe in Him and He's not real, you've got nothing to lose.
but if you do not believe in Him and He's real. then that's the Big Loss for you.

yesterday huiyi shared.
what good would it be for a person if he gains the whole world but lost his soul?
what good would it be if a person strives and diligently carry out God's purpose for us on earth, without joy?

God like a Father, wants us to be happy, to have joy, to find joy in the things we do. He is a gentle Father. His hands will always be there for us to hold...to guide and to lead us.
************************************************************************************


--AbsoluteSApphire8--
10:42 AM




haha...finally got my 22nd bday photo from qiuru! =) lovely cell group! lovely cake!
Monday, October 03, 2005//





--AbsoluteSApphire8--
10:33 PM


SApphire's Inner World
___________________

THIS IS MY STORY... hmmm...a Virgo, a High C individual...Helper, AChiever & Loyalist. lots of expectation for myself..perhaps also for the ppl around me. dun like to face failure and disappointment, but i am definitely learning. a Passive person, but as long as i appreciate the person, i will take the first step and get out of my comfort zone. the Language of my love for the person that i cherish will be time. the greater the time and effort spend on the person, the more important the person is to me in my life. A stubborn, hot tempered, emotional, pessimistic gal.Loner. "Anti-social" tagged by most people if you judge me by the first impression =) i graduated in NUS as a mechanical engineer. i tried working in STMicroelectronics as a process engineer. but found that this is somethg that i dun reali enjoy. because i know God has created me differently. He has made me with a passion to be with ppl. He has gave me a gift to make frds and minister to ppl. He has gave me a unique ability to make sincere relationship. bcos Christ reigns in me. so after becoming a engineer for a while, i quited and i am currently working in Walton international Grp(S) PTE LTD as a landbanker now. it's a career that i reali enjoy bcos i get to meet all walks of ppl in my life. i get to help ppl to better invest in a correct way. to analyse together with my cients the oppt and not jus to do hard selling. cos i dun believe in that. i like to share. Not only so, I am also Volunteering under Touch Community Service in my Church, Volunteering in NYC as well as Sunday school :) right now, my only Wish is to become even closer with Christ in this beauty journey of my Life. i am a full time Christian & only a part time daughter, frd, landbanker, sportsman etc... Lord, everything i have belongs to You... drop me an email: yanying8@singnet.com.sg or 97545658 (Walton) or 90997000 (DTZ)

SApphire's Favourites
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To have Harmony & Peace. DayDreaming, Eating, Sleeping, Exercising, Catching up with peeps, Reading, Shopping, having LOTSSS of $$$, Travelling, meeting new ppl everyday :) I love Real Estate. most importantly, to be in the presence of God!

Precious Words
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