start afresh, know God as the God He is. not the God whom we think He is...

Bittergourd *No more*
Sunday, July 31, 2005//

went back in the afternoon to move some stuff back hall!
my sianzness and heavy feeling to go back to hall in 1-2 weeks time was kindda lightened up when i saw deedee!! =)
realli feel good to see her around, and especially knowing that she is gonna be staying opposite me.
deedee has always been a "sunshine" to me..haha, a nice friend whom is always so encouraging, mature and positive. enjoy the mature and serious talking with her man!

after finishing shifting 50% of my stuff, my dad fetched me to church!
today is my first big step of service in church! haha...first time doing consolidation! though i am only an attached student to both angel and qiaoyun =)

it was a good experience and i learnt quite a bit too!

after service, qiaoyun, me, adele, angel, qiuru, pris and most importantly TANG HUIYI (my lao gong!!!) went to have dinner together.
it was a lovely gathering! we had lottsa of fun, crap stupid jokes, sharing, suaning etc etc. lottsa of laughter!
been so long man...haha
realli miss my dear yi-sister so much man! =)
realli so glad that she is back! finally~~~ feels so good to have her back in church and seated NEXT to me .... lovely! splendid feeling!

after dinner,my cg went to some void deck to do some prayers and ministering. God is good and could really feel a sense of ease and peace even during the intercession of prayers and ministering.

there's something that qiaoyun said over dinner that kindda of struck me.
what we see/perceive is realli very powerful and has a significant effect on our destiny as well!
we should always picture and see the image that we wish for positively and BELIEVE that God will provide.....

God also reminded me during service that He is a God of love. not fear. There shouldnt be the word "fear" in my dictionary except for the fear of the Lord.
therefore, there is no need to worry and to be anxious of.
i need to find my assurance and security in Him alone!

pain is inevitable but misery is optionable.

i should never let the situations and people around me to control how i feel towards my life.
God is always good and He never fails.
He would rather "bring me through" the sufferings, tribulations and trials than to "bring me out" of it....

*the testing of faith brings out perseverence*
*He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world*
*count it all joy when you face trouble!*

He is the God of Joy....

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
1:06 AM

F.r.i.d.a.y : rejoice or panick mode?
Saturday, July 30, 2005//

busy friday for Sapphire today!
went for driving from 930-11am...first time going to the YCK circuit and indeed...the feeling was very different! can feel a little bit of stress le...haha...cos its not easy man! the roads are so narrow! so many motocycles and cars and funny funny roads and obstables to overcome! *sweat sweat*

after driving then SURPRISING i went to catch the movie Fantastic4 at J8 with my daddy! first time going movie with my daddy! breakthrough man! haha...cos i actually won this pair of movie tics through the i-weekly magazine =)
but think its a good step taken by me to try to spend more time with my family members too =)
*p/s: FANTASTIC 4 is damnnnnn nice!! must watch oki!! =)*
Thank God for granting me this step of courage to jio my daddy out too! sooooooooooooooooooooooooo unlike me!

after movies, then we headed home...and once again i started on my FYP research and readings! *soooooooo boring and stressful man!*

at 12am i went online to check my email...then to my horror! man...so many emails regarding fyp!
need to send Cv to the company by monday, tuesday need to meet director of the company, wednesday may have a 9am-6pm conference at the company and thurs need to meet up with my 2 prof...

how?!?! school haven start yet lei!!! its not official yet and *boy*..i am already stressed up le man!

BUT I WILL PLACE ALL MY ANXIETY AND TRUST ONTO THE LORD! FOR HE IS MY SHEPHARD! HE WILL DELIVER ME THROUGH ALL OBSTABLES, ALL TROUBLES, ALL DIFFICULTIES!
LIFE IS UNFAIR BUT GOD IS GOOD! teach me oh Lord!!!!

this time round, i know that i seriously need to rely on His grace and strength in order to manage with my time and work load. it's not gonna be easy. i can totally see it. but i BELIEVE that God is always faithful. He NEVER fails! AMEN!

* decided to jus take a step at a time,and do my best! and whatever comes will come! no point worrying about tomroz for tomroz already has its own problems! *

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
12:44 AM

Early SunRiSe, anxious heart!
Wednesday, July 27, 2005//

7.35am! i bet anyone of you will wake up soooo early to write a blog!
it has been a busy tues and wed for me! went back to NUS sch lib to borrow 14 research books! man...so much how to finish reading for my fyp. to be frank, its the first time i went to library to do research myself and also to borrow books..haha...so "ma lu", gotta check with the staff about where to go to find the books, how to find etc etc...*bleah!*

then went to queensway to zap this journal article book that cost me $34.16!! so expensive..but its ok! cos this stupid book is highly recommended my Mr.Caprian, so gotta have it by hook or by crook! even if i need to rob a bank! bwahaha... -_-''

i went to TH to clean up my new room E421!
cool~~ surprising haha..ver's old room is not very dirty..so i managed to clean it until "ki la ki la" within 2hours or so!
hmmm...the feeling that i went back hall was so different...like totally no more "gua lian" for the place, its like a sleeping room thats all!
serious man. dun know why too, even the friends there, no emotional attachment as well...i may sound very practical or even blunt, but i seriously think that there are only a few friends that i would think i will keep them and make a hell effort to keep in contact as well!
people whom i have been staying together for the past 2-3 years are probably gonna be my sweet memory and even just "clique / hostel" mates....ba..i dun know....
sorry for being so skepticle about relationship, cos i am definitely a person who believes in networking, to broaden your network of friends...
however, when it comes to real friends, personally there's no need for me to have so manY! haha...a few good ones whom i know will definitely be there is enough for me to thank God for my entire life le!
THAT INCLUDE YOU MY 15yr Pinky Specs Frd! haa haa haa!!! *touched bor!*

anyway, been feeling damn stressed recently...all bcos of my fyp, school haven start, yet i can totally feel the gushing anxiety and overpiling workload le man!
been reading on my borrowed books, reading veryyyy slowly...dun realli understand as well man...God! Help me man! Grant me the wisdom and understanding! Grant me Your peace to not worry, to just Surrender and Trust in Your Faithfulness, Your perfect plan and timing for me. *Count it all Joy when you face trouble!* *when you pray, BELIEVE and you will receive them!*

been snacking so much! so full already still keep eating...thats definitely the 1st sign of my stressfulness! haha...stress = overeat!
sucks mannnnn!!

but anyway, dun care le man..jus gonna try my best! God will help me settle the rest!

*yawn...* later at 3pm i still need to be at IBN to listen to some talk by some speakers then plus a short meeting (h0pefully) with my professors...then TUITION at night again!

anyway, the only motivation for me right now is the 10-11pm show on channel u!!!
i simply love "guo ke yi"!!! haha..its a damn nice show! and ya, another nice show is on channel u i think on weekends 7-9pm! super funny show as well =)

alright..time to go and continue with my readings and note taking le...see....its 8am! and i am starting to study le...*bleah!*

friday's coming...so excited!!

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
7:53 AM

Ain't no garfield...:No More:....
Tuesday, July 26, 2005//

MONDAY! garfield hates Monday. Sapphire hates Monday too! especially when there's work & sch...but today is a different Monday...first Monday since my holiday starts that there is no work!

early in the morning, had a quarrel with my mummy....*BORING* as usual man...
simply dun understand why....told her i wanan eat bread for breakfast & she forced me to eat porriage. SO i jus shouted back,"ni ke bu ke yi bu yao zheng tian yi zhi guan wo?!?!?!?"
then, she got angry and shouted back,"na hao lo, chong jing tian qi wo bu yao guan ni le!"
kaoz...can you imagine it! quarrel over porriage and bread...dun understand man! a 22yr old gal...she still gonna control the food that i eat!?!?!

alright.wadever! so i left the house and headed towards IBN!

it's damn cool la when i reached IBN! its actually situated at buona vista NANOS. there's in fact a shuttle bus from NUH to IBN...
i met my prof Mr.francis Tay and Mr.Ciprian(a Romanian) and they got me around the company, the clean room, the research room, told me about the things that i need to read up on, the books to read and borrow...some concepts..the schedule, meeting time every week etc etc...

man...God is too good to me! the company is super recognised around the world and in singapore! a great project with lotsa of prospects. even Mr.Ciprian told me that i am very fortunate...cos this research and clean room is the best in Asia as well as in Singapore. not only so, the project that i am working on which is on PECVD, is the current most hyped up and popular microfabrication in the market right now.
he also assured me that with this hands on experience and technicle knowledge that i will obtained in this 1 year of FYP, its gonna give me a lot of advantage when i apply for jobs in this field...even in IBN itself, cos i got to use the most advanced and precise machines that probably onli IBN has it!

Jesus Christ! can you imagine it! i am so damn lucky!
thank God mann..i was like totally speechless la....even after i left IBN for tuition!

but then once again...i can definitely feel the other side of emotions. besides exicitement & gratitute, i could totally feel the overwhelming stress and even foresee the upcoming busy schdule in the year to come! haha...like staying in IBN till late in the night...less time in hall for dinner and rest also ba!

SO~ being the discipline Sapphire, decided to go back to NUS library to do the research as instructed by my prof! tuesday, Wednesday, Friday/Sat...gonna be there for the morning man! zap lotsa of readings, journal articles etc etc....*yawn* but its still holiday!! holiday should be play play play de....!

but itsss okie....i shall jus do my best! cos God honours and loves those who strive for excellence. i jus need to do my best, dun wanan hide even the 1 talent that i might haf...! i believe God will definitely bring me through. God is always faithful even when i am faithless, bcos He cannot deny himself! His grace is always so sufficient for me. Its more than enuff to overcome each and every problem of mine!

alright...shall stop here today! just ate a panadol cos was having headache...especially after tutoring my dear brother...spend 1.5hr to read up his lecture notes, to work out his questions and to analyse the solution set as well... and 45mins to explain to him...
God please grant me the strength, the patience and love towards my dear brother. Let me be a loving sister whom he can see God in me...! Sustain me cos i know i simply cannot do it alone with my own strength. i am simply too limited. Help me Lord. teach me to surrender and to trust. In your faithfulness...always.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
1:59 AM

my mummy @ hongKong! =)

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
1:50 AM

my brother Melvin~

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
1:49 AM

An xtraordinary Sunday : Meetg People Everywhere .
Sunday, July 24, 2005//

so exciting man! its my first entry to my personal blog!

Sunday! its here again...but then its a happier sunday this time round..haha, cos tomroz dun haf work! finished my DBS temp job last friday le! "wo hao kai xin ah!"

Morning, i went to SOL then went shopping alone at bugis....so long since i went shopping alone man! wanted to buy a skirt/cardigan but then....in the end, i bought a ZINC bag instead. But then i haf been eyeing it for VERY LONG LE, jus that didnt have the "xin xue lai chao" to purchase it! But i am happy to do some retail therapy still! its a cool bag i think! */-_-\*

surprisingly when i was shopping at the Bugis outdoor pasar malang market, i actually saw weiling! haha...so cool lor, cos i jus saw her last night after church and today during SOL, i actually make 3 new frds! and 2 of them(Samatha & Yos) are actually from weiling network, and we actually are able to interact pretty well man!!! haha....so exciting man! =) more motivation to go SOL in the future also..bwahaha (",)

and ya! not only so, i also saw Kelly (fcbc and ME classmate) after SOL! haha...catched up with her quite a bit...and actually realised that she actually knows this guy who i tot is quite cute from my SOL class...HAHAHA...next time, can ask kelly to be my spy le lah!!!! at least i know that he is 26yrs old, SINGLE!, nice gentleman, graduated from biz ad =) haha....so many info in 15min!

*jus kidding man!* i dun do this kinda of things de! i believe God will send the Mr.Perfect man for me in my life without me doing anything at all! AMEN! He is ALWAYS in soveriegn control! =)

All in all, jus wanan take this chance to thank Him for blessing my day! For even reminding me during the train ride from hougang to dhobby ghaut that He is my Organiser, my Planner. He is a greater "High C", an even more orderly than me. He is always in control. not just control, but Soverign Control. Thank You for such a gentle reminder once again. thank you Lord ...

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
10:51 PM

haha...what a picture! totally represent the mood for me today man! HAPPY~~~yeah!!!

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
8:35 AM

my favourite anime! He is SOoOOO cute la!

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
8:29 AM

SApphire's Inner World
___________________

THIS IS MY STORY... hmmm...a Virgo, a High C individual...Helper, AChiever & Loyalist. lots of expectation for myself..perhaps also for the ppl around me. dun like to face failure and disappointment, but i am definitely learning. a Passive person, but as long as i appreciate the person, i will take the first step and get out of my comfort zone. the Language of my love for the person that i cherish will be time. the greater the time and effort spend on the person, the more important the person is to me in my life. A stubborn, hot tempered, emotional, pessimistic gal.Loner. "Anti-social" tagged by most people if you judge me by the first impression =) i graduated in NUS as a mechanical engineer. i tried working in STMicroelectronics as a process engineer. but found that this is somethg that i dun reali enjoy. because i know God has created me differently. He has made me with a passion to be with ppl. He has gave me a gift to make frds and minister to ppl. He has gave me a unique ability to make sincere relationship. bcos Christ reigns in me. so after becoming a engineer for a while, i quited and i am currently working in Walton international Grp(S) PTE LTD as a landbanker now. it's a career that i reali enjoy bcos i get to meet all walks of ppl in my life. i get to help ppl to better invest in a correct way. to analyse together with my cients the oppt and not jus to do hard selling. cos i dun believe in that. i like to share. Not only so, I am also Volunteering under Touch Community Service in my Church, Volunteering in NYC as well as Sunday school :) right now, my only Wish is to become even closer with Christ in this beauty journey of my Life. i am a full time Christian & only a part time daughter, frd, landbanker, sportsman etc... Lord, everything i have belongs to You... drop me an email: yanying8@singnet.com.sg or 97545658 (Walton) or 90997000 (DTZ)

SApphire's Favourites
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To have Harmony & Peace. DayDreaming, Eating, Sleeping, Exercising, Catching up with peeps, Reading, Shopping, having LOTSSS of $$$, Travelling, meeting new ppl everyday :) I love Real Estate. most importantly, to be in the presence of God!

Precious Words
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