HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIAN-XIN!!! :) Monday, June 30, 2008//
--AbsoluteSApphire8--
8:26 PM
//
Anyway, I think i am truly believing that God will grant me my sufficiency.
I am learning to just let go & let God.
It's weird.
But Lord, I believe, as i give & sacrifice, i will receive much more. For you do not shortchange.
Matthew 17:20 says, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.
--AbsoluteSApphire8--
9:01 AM
Sunday, June 29, 2008//
Heal my heart and make it clean Open up my eyes to the things unseen Show me how to love like you have loved me Break my heart for what is yours Everything I am for your kingdom's cause As I walk from earth into eternity...
-Ouch-
--AbsoluteSApphire8--
8:31 AM
Happy 21st Bday to my Darling! :) //
--AbsoluteSApphire8--
8:12 AM
Friday, June 27, 2008//
What is a woman's worth?
--AbsoluteSApphire8--
9:08 AM
//
And so i was right. I wanted to work at home today but i was having tremendously bad headache.
So i took a panadol and slept after lunch. and after breakfast too. basically after every meal, i went back to my air con room to zZZZZZZzzZZ...
Then i woke up. Went to meet my client to pass him the contract and also to catch up with him... then went to sign a contract...and then to my church frd's baptism! All with a headache!
And finally, took a taxi back home from Bukit Merah TCT and ate a FULL dinner at 11pm.
SUCKS.
My darling is back on Sunday from Taiwan!! YEAH!! my Tian-Xin is back! I can whine to her again!! Bwahaha...Sunday bday party at Tampines macs...haha.. what a happening party i ever had...
And so, i told Pastor yo i was at Crystal's baptism. and she replied,"I am praying for you. that you will get baptise in this year of sabbath..."
Actually, my parents already gave me the permission to baptise this year during CNY when God asked me to tell the courage to ask..
But then...i reali dont know why, there's just no urge within to feel the need to baptise. To me, baptise or not doesnt make a diff... Or izzit cos i am just scare of this commitment? But if this commitment only has to do me good? then why am i withdrawing myself then?
And so again i was asked a question which has been asked lately very frequently. And i said,"Not the right time."
But on a happier note! My dearest "weight" training colleague Ms.Felicia!!!! She did super well this week! GOSH! She is my idol :) Happppppiiieee for her, you Salsa babe!! i want a treat from you!!!! hur hur hur hur hur~~~
Can i have a fruits only buffet? HAHA.
--AbsoluteSApphire8--
8:21 AM
Thursday, June 26, 2008//
Feel like sleeping my Friday awaayyy...
I am so so so lethargic!
What has happened to me ah?
BOO BOO BOO.
--AbsoluteSApphire8--
6:48 PM
//
I pray for both of you Wendy & Mervin. With great successes & with favour from the Lord as you go forth in this journey. I pray that you will see the fruits of your faith reaping in the Name of Jesus in this miraculous short time.
And I pray for myself that as promised in this 2 weeks, what he has promised me will come true. And I pray for myself that I will live a healthy life for Him for my body is a temple of God.
By Faith, I trust in wat is unseen. Though its so hard, so tough, so painful, so uncertain, so etc etc. But because I know God. Thats why I am going to bank everything I have in Him.
If I perish, I perish. -Queen Ester-
--AbsoluteSApphire8--
8:34 AM
//
As you give, God blesses. As you chose to Surrender, God honours. As you harden ur heart to flee from temptation, God protects & guards your mind & heart.
Many times, desires of the heart arise when there is a human emptiness. A need to love & to be loved. Many times, competitiveness of the soul arise when there is a human need to prove that he is somebody. He IS somebody. Many times, selfishness of the human flesh arise when there is a fear of insufficiency. A need to protect & self defence his territory to ensure he is not shortchanged.
Someone today asked me, " are you attached? Lately?" haha. It shocked me. How funny this qn is when i found out why this ppl decided to ask me this qn.
Human are seriously very curious animal.
And so i was worried with my brother future when i brought my whole family to crystal jade for dinner since i was there for an appt yday. And my brother..quited his engineer studies in SP during his 2nd yr. Now he is in Police NS, going to complete in Sept. AND, sigh. He is or rather He wants to work for my aunt in a pub...
Frankly, Many times, i would rather my brother is in my shoes and I am him... cos i felt, I am able to better survive in this world. With my working attitude & my basic character, i believe, i should be able to get a decent 2.5k to 3.5k job...
But this little brother of mine...with only O level cert..i wonder what he reali wants in life? how much can he earn every mth? can he sustain a family?
I met this client of my at TTSH that day. She is such an awesome lady. with a heart of compassion which i admire. with a God fearing character which i long for. with a giving heart & such a high achievement too...
And the infatuation which i used to have seems to be dying and i am DEAD HAPPY! Getting more and more delivered.
--AbsoluteSApphire8--
12:55 AM
Tuesday, June 24, 2008//
"There is no fear in Love, But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in Love....."
--AbsoluteSApphire8--
9:16 PM
HANDSOME!! //
--AbsoluteSApphire8--
10:14 AM
You see me through the Seasons. //
--AbsoluteSApphire8--
7:51 AM
The emotions within. //
When i was back in the church camp, I knew that God is preparing my heart for a relationship. And there was this night, when i sat down and starting writing down the "negotiable" & "non-negotiable" criteras for my future husband...
Till now, i still hadnt continue since then.
But bcos of these journey lately & after my frds' journey etc. I have decided that sometimes things cannot be left and taken for granted. Hence, I have decided the non-negotiable criterias must also be: (1) Non-married. (2) Must be a guy.
It's weird you may ponder why these 2 are even considered? Isnt it obvious?
But. Over the years, i came to acknowledge that the matters of the heart is the worst of all. A clear mind and a settled heart can be swayed when the deepest corner of that desire is being tested.
Nobody knows except themselves.
The difference between a man and a woman is always the heart. A woman is always willing and ready to give up everything for the one that matters to her. Even the most career minded woman, will still have this softness within to stay close by. She is always ready to let go of her past & move on with her new future. When her mind is fixed and her heart is captivated by the moment.
A man is always willing too. Willing to take the risk, but still ultimately wish to cling on to both sides. To prayerfully hope deep within, a possible to have the best of both worlds.
Which is why, i always feel that guys, should never mislead, never allow your words, gestures and the looks of the eyes to betray your heart. Woman are usually the most sensitive creatures on earth. We sense. But we pretend & keep quiet & based on situation. Ignore. Even though, we do feel the same...
It takes lots of courage to reciprocate. For usually, we wait. Even for the wild animal like Samantha in Sex & the City...haha. She is WILD. Many girls wish they have the sensuality like how Samantha demonstrates. But they never dare to live out of the norm.
Which is why shows like "L Word" & "Sex and the City" are always the best episodes that captivates a woman's heart. Because the characters in the show are able to play out the "inner self" of us all.
Once again, It's back to the question....
Do you chose God?
--AbsoluteSApphire8--
6:29 AM
//
when you are down, the only way to move is only Up...
What goes down must come up....
"This is then how we know that we belong to the truth & how we set our hearts at rest in his presence when ever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts & He knows everything..."
Ouch.
--AbsoluteSApphire8--
2:15 AM
Sunday, June 22, 2008//
I thanked God that He guarded my heart & mind today. For i know He honours my effort & He will bring me thr all.
And for the rest of the week & many uncertain mths ahead. I trust in Him & His providence.
Lord, I am at the crossroad. Stuck. Not moving & feeling handicapped.
--AbsoluteSApphire8--
11:51 PM
//
Jonah is obedient in terms of following orders, but he does not surrender to God's will when things turn out differently than he expects. As when he was on the ship, he would have rather died than to live with circumstances that were not to his liking (Jonah 4:3, 8-9). Up to the abrupt ending of the book, we see a nominally obedient Jonah, yet a man never fully surrendered to the rule of God. The last we see of him, he is in despair over a life that is not according to his terms.
--AbsoluteSApphire8--
7:46 AM
//
Today, during the whole sermon was another processing session for me. I believe the main agenda for me was that God wants to assure me tat He has a good plan for me. He has a good future for me despite the circumstances that i am witnessing now..
But surprisingly, i didnt felt anything. Till the pastor started praying for us. When he prayed the 1st sentence, i started weeping... and tearing and crying all the way to the end.
I didnt go down to the alter cos i dont know how to react. Cos i dont want to do down and then to find myself sinning again & living in my flesh again.
It was definitely a very emotional state for me. It was about surrendering.
Such a familiar word which i used to hear a lot...and then disappear for a long while...and today finally i heard it once again.
It was the broken ness within as i teared that i relinquished the tenderness of my heart once again.
It has been so long since i last cried. Cos my heart has been very much hardened lately. So much things happening that i refuse to know how and why i am feeling. And i refuse to face emotions.
Instead, I covered myself with lots of Joy, Laughter & brave front.
A front that only I am familiar when i am back home.
I wish...i can do what i want to do & i can get what i want to have.
But of cos, i know God will allow and He will give, but i will have to bear the consequences of them all.
So, am i ready to bear them all? Frankly, i do not think so.
My current life right now is seriously about: (1) walking with Him closely... learning to be secured in Him... (2) my career with my expectations. Trusting in Him. (3) training up my consultants with my expectations. To be used by Him as His instrument. (4) disciplining with my buddy Felicia every week. To train up with the "weights" (waits) in life... (5) Interdependency with my fellow community. To learn to be a team player & not a lone ranger. (6) Surrendering my relationship into His hands. To not compromise & trust that He has the best for me In His Time which will come.
--AbsoluteSApphire8--
6:30 AM
Saturday, June 21, 2008//
Can you stop being so nice? Can you be either Cold or Hot? I seriously do not know how to handle such lukewarmess.
I wish you can totally be Cold so that i can move on with my life. I wish you can be more clear with your words, gestures, looks & everything. Everything little things that you do is so magnified in my life.
Even if you dont mean it, it means a lot to me. Do you know that?
Sometimes I sinfully wish there could be something going on. But i am glad that the Fear of the Lord is with me. And i am glad that I have made the deliberate intention to make sure i am in a safe zone.
Though i am physically safe. But do you know that i am so emotionally unsafe and affected?
I am like a swing. I tried many times to have a made up mind. To make up my mind to stop myself from these way, but i cant.
I failed everytime when you are able to enter my heart. I simply felt like suicidal inside me.
But, i bet you never knew all these.
but i wonder...if you could at least felt this emotion that is stirring within me with you are around?
--AbsoluteSApphire8--
5:12 AM
I love Aussie! Friday, June 20, 2008//
4D Perth - Australia Incentive Trip
Departure Date :01 August2008 Group Size:50 Passengers
Flight Details
Singapore Airlines (SQ)
01AugSQ225Singapore – Perth0120 /0620 (check in 31July)
Your vacation to the Western Australia State in Australia begins with a pleasant flight from Singapore to Perth. En-route; enjoy the friendly and hospitable in-flight service offered by the airlines. Upon arrival, proceed for Perth city tour , will take you to view the Parliament House, the barrack Arch and the Bell Tower. Next, proceed to Kings Parks for “ Tree Top Walk” to have a panoramic view of Perth city skyline. After lunch transfer to your hotel. The rest of the day is free at leisure and enjoy Friday late night shopping .
DAY 02PERTH /FREMANTLE / SWAN VALLEY / PERTH
(Hotel Breakfast, Fish ‘n’ chips Lunch, dinner cruise)
This morning after breakfast in hotel will transfer to train station for a train ride to Fremantle. Here you will see the Round House, The Monument Hill, Fisherman’s boat Harbor and not to be missed is the colorful Weekend Market (Opens on Fri, Sat & Sun only) for your shopping bargains.
In the afternoon will be taken to the oldest and most awarded wine growing regions in Australia – Swan Valley where you will visit one of the local wineries for wine tasting and winery tour. Return to Perth in the evening.
Oh No! I am missing US again!!!! Big BOO BOO!! Monday, June 16, 2008//
After reading Charmaine's blog..i am beginning to miss my dearest US again!
--AbsoluteSApphire8--
11:49 AM
Church Cluster Camp 2008 //
--AbsoluteSApphire8--
11:18 AM
SApphire's Inner World ___________________
THIS IS MY STORY...
hmmm...a Virgo, a High C individual...Helper, AChiever & Loyalist.
lots of expectation for myself..perhaps also for the ppl around me.
dun like to face failure and disappointment, but i am definitely learning.
a Passive person, but as long as i appreciate the person, i will take the first step and get out of my comfort zone.
the Language of my love for the person that i cherish will be time.
the greater the time and effort spend on the person, the more important the person is to me in my life.
A stubborn, hot tempered, emotional, pessimistic gal.Loner.
"Anti-social" tagged by most people if you judge me by the first impression =)
i graduated in NUS as a mechanical engineer. i tried working in STMicroelectronics as a process engineer. but found that this is somethg that i dun reali enjoy. because i know God has created me differently.
He has made me with a passion to be with ppl. He has gave me a gift to make frds and minister to ppl. He has gave me a unique ability to make sincere relationship.
bcos Christ reigns in me.
so after becoming a engineer for a while, i quited and i am currently working in Walton international Grp(S) PTE LTD as a landbanker now.
it's a career that i reali enjoy bcos i get to meet all walks of ppl in my life. i get to help ppl to better invest in a correct way. to analyse together with my cients the oppt and not jus to do hard selling.
cos i dun believe in that. i like to share.
Not only so, I am also Volunteering under Touch Community Service in my Church, Volunteering in NYC as well as Sunday school :)
right now, my only Wish is to become even closer with Christ in this beauty journey of my Life.
i am a full time Christian & only a part time daughter, frd, landbanker, sportsman etc...
Lord, everything i have belongs to You...
drop me an email: yanying8@singnet.com.sg or 97545658 (Walton) or 90997000 (DTZ)
SApphire's Favourites ___________________
To have Harmony & Peace.
DayDreaming, Eating, Sleeping, Exercising, Catching up with peeps,
Reading, Shopping, having LOTSSS of $$$, Travelling, meeting new ppl everyday :)
I love Real Estate.
most importantly, to be in the presence of God!
