start afresh, know God as the God He is. not the God whom we think He is...

The Lord of my life.
Sunday, July 30, 2006//

we were supposed to go to my cousin hse to celebrate his daughter 1-yr bday party. but cos my mum work until 7pm that day, & my bro wasnt feeling well as he had "feng mo" that very morning, we didnt to give it a miss.
i was supposed to go to my boss hse for a bbq gathering,but i tot since it's a sat, i should stay at home.
i thank God.
at least all of us were at home.

my brother vomited after his sleep, felt weak & fainted.
i could still vivdly remember the reaction of my parents. my mum yelling at my dad for help. and my dad fervently asking my bro not to fall asleep.
as for me. i was struck. my legs were simply rooted to the ground. i could only watch. my mind went blank.
immediately, i uttered a prayer. cos that's all i can do.
i call LL to help me get ppl to pray too.

thank God, my brother regain a little of his conscious. we didnt call the ambulance, but my dad drove all of us to Mount Avernia Hospital.

i thank God for His faithfulness.
though, my bro still haven recover yet, though his rashes are still there.
but i still thank God that he is fine.
i know that he will be fine.
cos God is good.
jus like my committment to Him today, i want to give Him everything that i have.
everything i have belongs to Him.
He has the right to take everything i have & make me broken & bankrupt.

i thank God.
wat LL prayed for me today, reali struck deep inside me.
i know Pastor message was for me today. i know i should be the one to walk down to answer his altar call.
but i didnt.
guess, i am still very passive.
or rather, i am afraid to be made too broken. to weep & be totally shattered in front of God & His people.
but i thank God.
cos He indeed relighted my fire & my love for Him.
indeed, blessed are those who love & fear Him.
indeed, He jus gently reminded me that it's time to get serious with Him & get down into real biz with Him.

i thank God, cos i am able to treasure my family so much more now.
i reali mean it.
though, still far from perfect.
but this incident, has indeed brought a new perception to my life.

i thank God.
and i want to be used TOTALLY by Him.

i missed the take the city walk.
and my donation card is still empty.
every day,i told myself, alright better start asking ppl.
but when i see ppl, i jus feel too paisei to ask them for money.
everyday, i told myself, ok, after dinner, i should go to every household in my block to ask ppl for donation.
but i was too tired.

until today.
1030am. i decided. i want to do anything for God.
i want to serve God.
i want to be made humble.
so FINALLY, i took my card, walk from level 1 to level 18 in my block & approach those households with their doors open.
door by door, i made my requests to them.
door by door, i explain the purpose for this walk & donation.
i perservere & pushed myself until level 18. i dun want to do a half-hearted job for God.
i want to serve Him totally.
i thank God. response was good, and i raised $80.
so much more than i expected.
as i went door by door, i prayed, when i see the residents worshiping the idols.
i prayed, when i see christians household, hoping that God will use them mightitly too.
it was like a prayer walk in my block.
i was happy after the whole thing.
i thank God for granting me this opportunity to serve Him.
i thank God for relighting this Holy fire in me once again.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
9:46 PM

Thursday, July 27, 2006//

i was disappointed when i realise prob i couldnt make it for the Big City Walk this sat. i was surprised that i was sad.
i tot everything was confirmed, and i will be gog, but TOO BADDDDDDD, toopid HR suddenly need me to attend some orientation training seminar course this sat.
i requested to have a make up lesson, but indeed, its reali impossible lah.
TOOOO BADDDD then.
gotta give the Walk a miss most prob.

orientation for 10days now. training, seminar etc etc. though more relaxing, but i think i miss my colleagues, my fellow shift & N6 engineers liaos.
reali gotta thank God for blessing me with such good team of frds.

feeling loss. feeling frustrated. feeling empty. feeling regretful. anger. bitterness. remorse. regrets.

though, my feelings are still not right yet, but i thank God.
cos i know He is slowly changing me.
the fact that i went for church prayer meeting yday night is already a miracle.
from 720-810pm i was already contemplating TO GO OR NOT TO GO.
my legs & mind seriously is bringing me to head the direction to home.
but my heart stops me.
for the first time, i prayed against any form of evilness that is tempting me to NOT go to church.
haha, thank God.
i manage to raise my hands to stop that Bus 43 that made me waited for nearly 40mins.
i thank God that He manage to put my legs up those stairs on the bus.

i thank God. for all and all and all.
though i am still learning.
though it's never THAT easy.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
8:59 PM

been a long time...since i last blog....
Sunday, July 23, 2006//

work has become more & more enjoyable for Sapphire. The operators, Machine Specialists, my fellow colleagues are reali very very nice. Thank God for His Grace.
Though, i was scolded about 2-3 times in this short 5 days, but i thank God,cos i know He is teaching me & drilling some very important things into me.

though my life is seriously getting very very busy, but i still thank Him for His Grace to sustain me thus far.
it's amazing how He gave me this little angel Sarah as my pri.5 tutee. HAHA. she's reali a bao-bei, a darling, though sometimes, she can disappoint me & make my blood boil.
i thank God, cos i have been reaching out to her all these while.
i thank God, cos at least i got a chance to explain to her about JC last thurs lesson. i even manage to explain to her the meaning of 3-in-1 God, His death & resurrection etc etc.
i thank God.
i even explain to her the meaning of baptism, and THANK GODDDD, haha, she actually remember its meaning out of alllllllll the words that i have taught her..bwahah.
her mummy used to be a christian, but backslided, married a buddhist. a lot of things happen along the way, & i dun wanan mentioned here too.
but all in all, i manage to tok to her a little, & she told me someday later, she will want to bring Sarah to church, esp sunday school. cos she knows Sarah will benefit, learn to open up more etc etc.
it's amazing how God has still continous speak to His people all these years.

i was reading a devotional yday evening, it mentioned that everything that happened to you is not by chance. perhaps it can be a very very bad experience, a very tormenting situation. but there is something that this devotion mentioned that enlightened me.
God is an awesome and magnificient God. Everything is in His plans & time. the things that are happening to you right now, can be linked to a greater breakthr, pruning & transformation in others area of your life. it can also be twined together with the lives of those people around you.

this week, i have gradually learnt to lead a simple life.
i am still struggling.
i want to obey & trust & not doubt, but simple obey God like a little child.
this world has corrupted & polluted me. haha.
i want to once again be removed from this miry clay.
i want to once again regain back my childlikeness, my naiveness, my simplistic in the Grace of my God.
i want to learn to share, learn to love, learn to give in, learn to humble myself, learn to stand back & be in the dimlight, learn to excel & yet do things in moderation.

my brother is gog to police soon in september.
big city walk is coming.
my work orientation is coming.
my bro bday is coming on 27th july.
my boss bbq is coming too, which i think i may not be gog.
my cousin daughter 1-yr bday coming soon, i think i should be gog.
my another cousin daughter 1-yr day coming soon, i will go!
planet shaker's concert coming soon, and cant wait to go with my frd!

busy life?
hmmm, actually no lei.
i jus i am numb liaos.
too numb to feel anything.
right now, i am jus walking a step at a time.
but have to admit, sometimes, when you look forward & realise how busy your week is getting, i get scared. i get bad-mood. i get mood-swing. and i wonder why am i caught in all these shits.
haha, but once again, i rather not think.
let each day passed, & let God lead me. :)

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
11:03 AM

Sunday, July 16, 2006//

uploading photos is a horribly blood pressure accelerating event at home.
the internet connections is as WOLS as a millipede.
adeline, if i were to upload as much photos like yours in BK, that will prob take me 364 days and the 1 day is for me to re-connect my pc internet connection bah.
that's how sad internet speed is at home.
i miss NUS. i miss HALL. yes. that's prob the sole reason till now! haha.

12th july, ihad my commencement.
met and saw so many familiar faces.
so touched, and reali feel so happy.
took photos with quite a lot of ppl, and ya...mostly guys.
haha, cos i am in Engineering!
some of my crushes are still as cute :)

noticed a few things:
(1) sapphire cannot take criticise at all. it reali jus makes my blood boils and my temper to rise uncontrollably.
(2) cannot handle rejections well.
(3) simply no self control & wasnt able to resist temptations like how i used.
(4) cannot handle disappointments.
(5) when everything is wrong, i simply want to disappear and hide from the world. to be ALONE.
(6) i cannot face setbacks, and it's reali hard for myself to stand up once again & start afresh. hate it when i keep lookg back & unable to face the future bravely.

haha. sad man.
gross. how come i have so many flaws???
disgustingly disgusting.

adel!reali like ur photos :)
very cool and funny.
haha, those familiar hall faces.
maybe it's time for me to re-visit hall during the orientation over the weekend when i am free.
take care and God bless!
prob, can meet up for dinner this fri, will contact u again ya? :)

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
11:08 PM

Saturday, July 15, 2006//

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
9:11 PM

I worship you
C F
When I look into your holiness
C F
When I gaze into your loveliness
C
When all things that surround
F Dm G7
Become shadows in the light of you

C F
When I’ve found the joy of reaching your heart
C F
When my will becomes enthralled in your love
C
When all things that surround
F Dm G7
Become shadows in the light of you

F G Em Am
I worship you, I worship you
Dm G C Dm Em
The reason I live is to worship you
G G7 F G Em Am
I worship you, I worship you
Dm G C
The reason I live, is to worship you

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
8:05 PM

why You love Him......
Monday, July 10, 2006//

.....because He first Loved You.

--AbsoluteSApphire8--
9:39 PM

SApphire's Inner World
___________________

THIS IS MY STORY... hmmm...a Virgo, a High C individual...Helper, AChiever & Loyalist. lots of expectation for myself..perhaps also for the ppl around me. dun like to face failure and disappointment, but i am definitely learning. a Passive person, but as long as i appreciate the person, i will take the first step and get out of my comfort zone. the Language of my love for the person that i cherish will be time. the greater the time and effort spend on the person, the more important the person is to me in my life. A stubborn, hot tempered, emotional, pessimistic gal.Loner. "Anti-social" tagged by most people if you judge me by the first impression =) i graduated in NUS as a mechanical engineer. i tried working in STMicroelectronics as a process engineer. but found that this is somethg that i dun reali enjoy. because i know God has created me differently. He has made me with a passion to be with ppl. He has gave me a gift to make frds and minister to ppl. He has gave me a unique ability to make sincere relationship. bcos Christ reigns in me. so after becoming a engineer for a while, i quited and i am currently working in Walton international Grp(S) PTE LTD as a landbanker now. it's a career that i reali enjoy bcos i get to meet all walks of ppl in my life. i get to help ppl to better invest in a correct way. to analyse together with my cients the oppt and not jus to do hard selling. cos i dun believe in that. i like to share. Not only so, I am also Volunteering under Touch Community Service in my Church, Volunteering in NYC as well as Sunday school :) right now, my only Wish is to become even closer with Christ in this beauty journey of my Life. i am a full time Christian & only a part time daughter, frd, landbanker, sportsman etc... Lord, everything i have belongs to You... drop me an email: yanying8@singnet.com.sg or 97545658 (Walton) or 90997000 (DTZ)

SApphire's Favourites
___________________

To have Harmony & Peace. DayDreaming, Eating, Sleeping, Exercising, Catching up with peeps, Reading, Shopping, having LOTSSS of $$$, Travelling, meeting new ppl everyday :) I love Real Estate. most importantly, to be in the presence of God!

Precious Words
___________________

Past Memoriess
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